I'm not sure who all I have told what to...so, I'm posting this to tell you all the story of my sweet little niece, Addison. She was diagnosed with cancer on December 10, 2011. And, this is everything that has happened since. We appreciate all of your prayers and thoughts. We have been truly blessed this last week and I could not be more grateful.
Saturday night Ashley sent me a text to let me know that they were taking Addison to the ER. They had noticed a weird bump on her left side and it was hard. I told her to let me know how it went and keep me updated. She sent me a text a little while later letting me know that they thought it was her spleen and weren't sure why it was enlarged, so they were gonna do some xray's and blood tests. I decided to call my grandparents and let them know what was going on. So, I did. While I was on the phone with them I started crying. I was worried about her and wasn't sure what was going on with my precious niece. I also texted my older brother and younger sister to let them know Addison was in the hospital and that I would keep them updated. A little while later I received a text informing that Addison's blood work came back fine and they wanted to do a CT Scan. I said okay, that's good that her blood work came back fine, and just to keep me updated. I went to pick my mom up from work, we talked about Addison being in the hospital and I let her know that we were waiting to hear back about what the CT Scan showed. What we found out would flip our world upside down. Ashley sent both my mom and I a text letting us know that they had discovered a large tumor off of Addison's left kidney, and yes...it was cancer. I broke down. My mom remained calm and Ashley said she needed us.
Morgan returned home after her babysitting job was over and we told her what was going on. I called my older brother and woke him up to let him know what was going on. I couldn't stop crying at this point. My poor little niece had cancer and such a short time after we lost my Uncle to cancer in July 2010. We left Morgan to stay home with a sleeping Nick and my mom and I went to Children's Hospital. When we got there they were still in the ER rooms. Addison was wide awake and not knowing what was going on. My mom hugged Ashley for a while. Addison looked at her mom confused. I then took my turn hugging Ashley. We sat down and got details about the tumor. It was very large. They believed it to be a Wilm's Tumor. And if this is what it was then the treatment and everything else looked good for Addison, but we wouldn't know what it was exactly until they would be able to remove it and do some tests on the tumor. They emitted Addison into the hospital and moved her to the cancer ward.
The ride home was sad. But, both my mother and I felt at peace about the entire situation. Was I still crying and worried about it? Yes. But, we both felt like Addison was going to be okay. That it was all going to work out and she was going to come out of this experience fine. I went to sleep about 4 am on Sunday morning and woke up at 10. Took a shower and headed off to go spend some time at the hospital. We got there and Addison was ready to go home. She no longer wanted to be in the hospital. She had..well, still has, no understanding about what was going on with her. Why she was there. My older brother and his wife and child came to see Addison. They brought lunch with them and we all hung out. Like any typical family get together. We were laughing and playing with the kids. It was great. We left around 2 so I could go to a final review, since all of my finals were the next day.
The next day I was up early for finals and was spending my day in Birmingham. We found out that the cancer hadn't spread anywhere and they would do the surgery Tuesday. What a relief! I took my first two finals, and then walked down to Children's Hospital, since it was right off campus, and went to see them. We hung out for a little bit in her room. And then, we were able to go to the Polar Express! Where Addison was able to make some Christmas crafts and get out of her room. She loved it. We had such a blast. We then walked back up to her room. Where she did not want to be! Poor thing. But, you have to do what you have to do. I left shortly after to go take my last final. When I was done with that, I went and got dinner for myself and than headed back to Children's. Lots of people came to visit Monday night. It was very busy! I left shortly after 8. Cried and had a break down as I was leaving the parking deck, one- because Addison was in a bad mood and breaking my heart. and B- because the lady at the gate wouldn't take my debit card and I had no other way to pay. (She ended up letting me out for free) I then went to work to inform them that I wouldn't be at work the next day and what all was going on. Broke down in the Office there too. Than, I finally made my way home to try and get some rest for the next day.
Tuesday. The big day. Morgan and Nick wanted to be there for it all too, so I went to check them out from school. We left after that and went to the hospital. Adam's parents were already there. We got to see Addison for a little bit and then headed downstairs to the waiting room while Ashley and Adam met with the people that would be in the OR with their baby. After that, it was a waiting game. we prayed a lot. A couple of times together. We were given prayer rocks. And waited to hear back from the nurse that was in charge of calling and giving us updates throughout the surgery. Every time our buzzer would go off to signal that they were calling my heart would stop. Luckily, they were able to remove the entire tumor. And Addison did really great through the whole thing. After recovery she was sent to the Special Care Unit to be watched over night. And we left to go home and try to get some rest. (Sitting at a hospital just waiting is VERY exhausting.)
Wednesday, I went up there and brought them some doughnuts. (Yes...Krispy Kreme...because I'm the best sister.) I was able to go in the Special Care Unit to see Addison. Who, was propped up on her left side watching Shrek. That girl LOVES her some Shrek. We were told very exciting news that Addison would be able to move into a room later that day since she was doing so well. I gave Addison a kiss and left to go tell Adam's mom in the waiting room to call everyone and let them know. After the men returned, Ashley, Adam's mom, and myself left to go eat some lunch. Than, came back to be there in time for when they moved Addison. Adam's parents and I went to take all of their stuff up to Addison's new room and wait for them to get there. Addison's Oncologist asked us if we wanted to see the CT Scan pictures. Of course we did. So, he pulled up the pictures to show us. From the front the tumor was about 14 cm by 9.5 cm. and looking from the top it was about 10 cm across. Now, Addison is a very tiny two and a half year old. And knowing that something that size was inside of her tiny body...it's still hard to wrap my head around!
Thursday, I had to work and was too exhausted after work to be able to go to the hospital. :( All day all I wanted was to be there though. Addison was feeling much better and was able to drink different things and eat Popsicles! Yum!
Friday, I had to work again. I really wish I didn't...but I did. Addison was acting like her normal self again! She was able to go see Santa and get a toy! She was also walking all over the hospital with her IV. It was truly amazing. Who would have thought that only a few short days after a major surgery that left her with only one kidney, that she'd be back to normal? That little girl is an amazing person. I am so glad to be able to call her my niece. She has been through so much.
The Pathology reports also came back Friday. It was the Wilm's tumor. And it weighed at least 2 pounds. My heart breaks for her.
Saturday, I got up and went to the hospital. We watched Shrek and ate some lunch. They informed us that Addison could probably go home later that day since she was doing so great! About an hour later the nurse came in and unhooked Addison's IV and we were able to walk around the hospital with her. She took us all over the place! It was great. Then I had to go to work. :( I didn't want to leave but, I was happy to go knowing that Addison was going to be leaving as well.
Addison's fight isn't over just yet. She has to start chemo the Tuesday after Christmas. They have already told Ashley she will lose most, if not all, of her hair. We are going to invest in some hats since it will be cold, even here in Birmingham. We have been so blessed! Addison is doing amazing and is going to be okay! When she gets older her battle scar is going to be pretty sweet when she's older. I'd be proud of the scar she has. I want to say thank you to all of you that have had concerns about Addison and have prayed for my family. We have felt those prayers this week. It could be a lot worse than it is. So, we are thankful for what we have.
We are selling some bracelets for Addison. They are going to be $5. They are bright pink with yellow letters. They will say 'fight like a girl' and have Addison's name on them. And the inside will say childhood cancer. If you are interested in one you can contact my via Facebook or Twitter. Or comment on here.
Thank you again for all the thoughts and prayers.
I love you all like mad.
XO
Kymber.
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Tuesday, December 6, 2011
I Can't Think of Any Song Lyrics to Go With This One.
How do mom's know EVERYTHING? I mean last night I'm talking to my mother, during another one of my many breakdowns, and she just knew something about a friend of mine and how I've been feeling lately...and I just don't know how she knew. I haven't told her anything really about that stuff. Now she'll know. Because I'm pretty sure my mom is one of the few people who actually read this blog. Ha! *insert crazy wave 'hi mom' here* I swear she has like a super power or something. Geeze.
But, she made some good points last night. I am so wrapped up in wanting to do so much for others that I haven't taken any time for myself. I don't focus on me. I have done so much for everyone else. I need to do what's best for me. I need to focus on school and getting through college to be able to go out into the world and hopefully do what I want.
I just feel like I want to please everyone. I love seeing someone smile because I made them some food or just made their day better. I may not like the situation I am in now, but I feel so privileged to have grown up with the family I have. We may not get along all the time and I may not be so close with all of my siblings but I know that they will be there for me. No matter what. We have been through so much in the past few years and have gotten so close. We have had to depend on each other to be there to hold us up when we needed it. My parents divorce may not be the best thing in the world for us financially...but it brought us all together. I don't completely hate my older siblings like I used to feel like I did. I look up to both of them.
I am so proud to call them my siblings. Neither one of them probably read this....but, oh well. I used to hate being referred to as Jeff or Ashley's little sister. I haven't been called that in so long. But I feel like if I were to be referred to that now I would say that I was their sister with pride. Even though to some that might not be the best thing in the world. But to me....it has become so much. I hope one day to be able to find a guy who will love and care for me as much as my brother does for his wife. He's an amazing father to my sweet niece. She just adores him. And, if one day I am blessed to have a family of my own I hope that my kids will have an amazing dad.
My older sister. Gosh. Where so I start with her? She used to be the sibling I wouldn't want to be around because more times than not it would end in a fight between the two of us. But, now? She's an amazing mom to my niece. She works so hard to be able to provide for her and she's good at what she does. She has become one of the people I am closest to. I know, anyone who knew how me and her were will be in shock at reading this, but it's the truth. She's been there for me so many times. I can vent to her about boys and work and friends and she listens. Like, actually listens. I never thought that I would be able to go to her with things that were bothering me and not get made fun of. But, here we are. I talk to her almost every week. I end up going to she her at work at least once a week it feels like. Who would have thought? I sure wouldn't have 6 years ago. I would have laughed in your face and told you to get off whatever drugs you were taking. I appreciate her so very much.
I don't really say a whole lot of this to either sibling. They are both huge examples to me. And I love them both so much. I hope that I can one day be seen by my younger siblings the way I see my older ones.
I am determined to focus on me. On what makes me happy. So far, I haven't really found it. I love being around little kids. There is just so much innocence there...you know? To them anything is possible! Their imaginations are incredible. This one little girl told my sister-in-law that they were going to be pirates together and have a boat to go find spoons. I mean, how do they come up with these things? It is so precious. I love their energy. I love the fact that their biggest issue is sharing. They either steal the toy away from someone or they are the ones who get it taken from them. Yet, five seconds later they are completely happy with another toy and all is forgotten. I wish we could still be like that sometimes. Be able to jump from sad to happy in an instant. The world would be a much better place if that were the case. We need to focus on things that make us happy. Like these little kids who either get their toy back or find a new one and move on. That's what we need to do. If things don't go as we want or we focus on what others have and be jealous of that we'll lose ourselves.
I encourage you to focus on you. If you haven't focused on you in a while now is the time to do it! Enjoy life. Like I'm going to try to do. I need to figure out who I am and what I want to do. I need to move on with my life and not dwell on getting my "toy" taken from me. I need to be me. And not put so much effort into people who don't deserve what I can give. I need to save my best for the people who give me their best. So much of my time has been wasted on people who don't deserve more than a passing glance. So, here's to new beginnings. Here's to figuring out who we are. And here's to finding it in yourself to love who you are. And to be able to share the amazing person you are with the rest of the world. Because one day, it could be soon or it could be years from now, someone is going to need to hear your story. And you will make a difference. You never know when the opportunity may arise. But, it will. And they'll need you like you need someone along your journey.
I love you all like mad. Hope you are starting to get in the Christmas spirit! I know I am! :D I love Christmas, everyone is so nice and happy. It's truly a magical time. I promise to post a Christmas update soon! :D And....if you are trying to figure out a Christmas gift for me...well.....let's just say I'd be happy with Kellan Lutz wearing a big red bow under my grandparent's tree. Or Bobby Long. I love them both. hehehehe ;)
XO
Kymber.
But, she made some good points last night. I am so wrapped up in wanting to do so much for others that I haven't taken any time for myself. I don't focus on me. I have done so much for everyone else. I need to do what's best for me. I need to focus on school and getting through college to be able to go out into the world and hopefully do what I want.
I just feel like I want to please everyone. I love seeing someone smile because I made them some food or just made their day better. I may not like the situation I am in now, but I feel so privileged to have grown up with the family I have. We may not get along all the time and I may not be so close with all of my siblings but I know that they will be there for me. No matter what. We have been through so much in the past few years and have gotten so close. We have had to depend on each other to be there to hold us up when we needed it. My parents divorce may not be the best thing in the world for us financially...but it brought us all together. I don't completely hate my older siblings like I used to feel like I did. I look up to both of them.
I am so proud to call them my siblings. Neither one of them probably read this....but, oh well. I used to hate being referred to as Jeff or Ashley's little sister. I haven't been called that in so long. But I feel like if I were to be referred to that now I would say that I was their sister with pride. Even though to some that might not be the best thing in the world. But to me....it has become so much. I hope one day to be able to find a guy who will love and care for me as much as my brother does for his wife. He's an amazing father to my sweet niece. She just adores him. And, if one day I am blessed to have a family of my own I hope that my kids will have an amazing dad.
My older sister. Gosh. Where so I start with her? She used to be the sibling I wouldn't want to be around because more times than not it would end in a fight between the two of us. But, now? She's an amazing mom to my niece. She works so hard to be able to provide for her and she's good at what she does. She has become one of the people I am closest to. I know, anyone who knew how me and her were will be in shock at reading this, but it's the truth. She's been there for me so many times. I can vent to her about boys and work and friends and she listens. Like, actually listens. I never thought that I would be able to go to her with things that were bothering me and not get made fun of. But, here we are. I talk to her almost every week. I end up going to she her at work at least once a week it feels like. Who would have thought? I sure wouldn't have 6 years ago. I would have laughed in your face and told you to get off whatever drugs you were taking. I appreciate her so very much.
I don't really say a whole lot of this to either sibling. They are both huge examples to me. And I love them both so much. I hope that I can one day be seen by my younger siblings the way I see my older ones.
I am determined to focus on me. On what makes me happy. So far, I haven't really found it. I love being around little kids. There is just so much innocence there...you know? To them anything is possible! Their imaginations are incredible. This one little girl told my sister-in-law that they were going to be pirates together and have a boat to go find spoons. I mean, how do they come up with these things? It is so precious. I love their energy. I love the fact that their biggest issue is sharing. They either steal the toy away from someone or they are the ones who get it taken from them. Yet, five seconds later they are completely happy with another toy and all is forgotten. I wish we could still be like that sometimes. Be able to jump from sad to happy in an instant. The world would be a much better place if that were the case. We need to focus on things that make us happy. Like these little kids who either get their toy back or find a new one and move on. That's what we need to do. If things don't go as we want or we focus on what others have and be jealous of that we'll lose ourselves.
I encourage you to focus on you. If you haven't focused on you in a while now is the time to do it! Enjoy life. Like I'm going to try to do. I need to figure out who I am and what I want to do. I need to move on with my life and not dwell on getting my "toy" taken from me. I need to be me. And not put so much effort into people who don't deserve what I can give. I need to save my best for the people who give me their best. So much of my time has been wasted on people who don't deserve more than a passing glance. So, here's to new beginnings. Here's to figuring out who we are. And here's to finding it in yourself to love who you are. And to be able to share the amazing person you are with the rest of the world. Because one day, it could be soon or it could be years from now, someone is going to need to hear your story. And you will make a difference. You never know when the opportunity may arise. But, it will. And they'll need you like you need someone along your journey.
I love you all like mad. Hope you are starting to get in the Christmas spirit! I know I am! :D I love Christmas, everyone is so nice and happy. It's truly a magical time. I promise to post a Christmas update soon! :D And....if you are trying to figure out a Christmas gift for me...well.....let's just say I'd be happy with Kellan Lutz wearing a big red bow under my grandparent's tree. Or Bobby Long. I love them both. hehehehe ;)
XO
Kymber.
Monday, November 28, 2011
One Day We'll Know If Love Can Move A Mountain...
Well, I've got a week left of regular classes and it feels like this semester has just flown by. I have learned so much about myself and others. I am so thankful for that. It's been a learning experience...like most of our lives. I am excited for Christmas break and to be able to go see my family and friends in Oklahoma, even though we will only be there for a week. I miss them dearly and I'm not sure what I would do without them.
I am grateful for all of the people that I can count on. If you're reading this you know who you are. There are so many things that I haven't been able to deal with on my own. And having some of you just listen to me has made it that much better. I know that I can be a very dramatic person, and it can be annoying at times, but I know that you guys love me....dramaticness and all. I wish there was some way to show you guys how much I really appreciate all you do for me.
I got to start my semester going to see the 100 Monkeys, and I got to end it with seeing Bobby Long. If you haven't looked up these guys you should. They are simply fabulous. They are completely different and I love them both. So, check them out! :D
I need to leave you all now. I hope you all had a fantastic Thanksgiving! :) And I'll post something new soon! :D
Love you like mad.
XO
Kymber.
I am grateful for all of the people that I can count on. If you're reading this you know who you are. There are so many things that I haven't been able to deal with on my own. And having some of you just listen to me has made it that much better. I know that I can be a very dramatic person, and it can be annoying at times, but I know that you guys love me....dramaticness and all. I wish there was some way to show you guys how much I really appreciate all you do for me.
I got to start my semester going to see the 100 Monkeys, and I got to end it with seeing Bobby Long. If you haven't looked up these guys you should. They are simply fabulous. They are completely different and I love them both. So, check them out! :D
I need to leave you all now. I hope you all had a fantastic Thanksgiving! :) And I'll post something new soon! :D
Love you like mad.
XO
Kymber.
Monday, October 31, 2011
If Someone Isn't Hurt Then It's Gonna Be Me
So, today is October 31st!! Happy Halloween to all of you lovely people! I'm excited for this month to be over!! I've had to work like crazy the last couple of weeks and would love to be able to sleep the next week. But, that's what I get for working at a party store, right? My next paycheck is gonna be so legit. I'll be able to pay all my bills with it! Yay!! :D
But, I'm not so sure how many more Halloween's I'd be able to do at work. I have felt like the energizer bunny the past month and a half. I have totally lost touch with my friends and don't have time to do anything fun. It's such a bummer. I need to invest in a life.
Much to my excitement though....is....drum roll please......November is going to be EPIC!!! :D The new movie, Immortals, with one Mr. Kellan Lutz comes out on the 11th! I'm totally in love with him. He's such a good person. And totally hot, but that's besides the point. The movie looks flipping sweet. It's from the same guys who did 300...so...do with that what you will.
Also, Breaking Dawn Part 1 comes out November 18, staring some of the best actors ever, including Mr. Lutz...again. :D I'm extremely excited for this movie. I love the book and am going to start rereading it this week to finish it by the time I see it at midnight on the 18th. If you haven't read the Twilight Saga and are into love stories and vampires...check it out! Although, these aren't your typical vampires and some people don't like it...but I really enjoyed the books. And the movies get better and better each time they come out. Totally worth paying to see it in regular theaters. :) So...do that.
AND!!! If you live in the Birmingham, Alabama area, or are just in Alabama anywhere. You need to mark this on your calendar...Bobby Long will be at The BottleTree Cafe on November 19th, doors open at 8 pm, show starts at 9pm. Tickets are $10. Which, is really good for a concert. And he's British and simply wonderful! I had the amazing opportunity to see him in April when he was in Birmingham at WorkPlay. And like I have said before, if I could live at WorkPlay I would. That place just has such an awesome energy to it. And I have had so many wonderful experiences there. But, I am excited to see Mr. Long at The BottleTree Cafe, I've never been there and am excited to expand my taste of places to see awesome artists.
So, as you can see my November is going to be packed full of fun times! :) And Thanksgiving, which also means I need to make a list of people who I am going to buy gifts for. Geeze. So much to do! But, don't forget those dates!! November 11th = Immortals, November 18th= Breaking Dawn Part 1, and November 19th= Bobby Long at BottleTree....I'll be there...so you should be too! :D
Anyways, I love you all like mad and I hope you have all had a lovely month! Mine has been drama filled and I'm excited to see where November takes me with my new found knowledge and plan to turn things around! :) I'll try to update more often...I know it's a bummer since I used to update more often, but I promise to try to do better!! Love y'all! :D
XO
Kymber.
But, I'm not so sure how many more Halloween's I'd be able to do at work. I have felt like the energizer bunny the past month and a half. I have totally lost touch with my friends and don't have time to do anything fun. It's such a bummer. I need to invest in a life.
Much to my excitement though....is....drum roll please......November is going to be EPIC!!! :D The new movie, Immortals, with one Mr. Kellan Lutz comes out on the 11th! I'm totally in love with him. He's such a good person. And totally hot, but that's besides the point. The movie looks flipping sweet. It's from the same guys who did 300...so...do with that what you will.
Also, Breaking Dawn Part 1 comes out November 18, staring some of the best actors ever, including Mr. Lutz...again. :D I'm extremely excited for this movie. I love the book and am going to start rereading it this week to finish it by the time I see it at midnight on the 18th. If you haven't read the Twilight Saga and are into love stories and vampires...check it out! Although, these aren't your typical vampires and some people don't like it...but I really enjoyed the books. And the movies get better and better each time they come out. Totally worth paying to see it in regular theaters. :) So...do that.
AND!!! If you live in the Birmingham, Alabama area, or are just in Alabama anywhere. You need to mark this on your calendar...Bobby Long will be at The BottleTree Cafe on November 19th, doors open at 8 pm, show starts at 9pm. Tickets are $10. Which, is really good for a concert. And he's British and simply wonderful! I had the amazing opportunity to see him in April when he was in Birmingham at WorkPlay. And like I have said before, if I could live at WorkPlay I would. That place just has such an awesome energy to it. And I have had so many wonderful experiences there. But, I am excited to see Mr. Long at The BottleTree Cafe, I've never been there and am excited to expand my taste of places to see awesome artists.
So, as you can see my November is going to be packed full of fun times! :) And Thanksgiving, which also means I need to make a list of people who I am going to buy gifts for. Geeze. So much to do! But, don't forget those dates!! November 11th = Immortals, November 18th= Breaking Dawn Part 1, and November 19th= Bobby Long at BottleTree....I'll be there...so you should be too! :D
Anyways, I love you all like mad and I hope you have all had a lovely month! Mine has been drama filled and I'm excited to see where November takes me with my new found knowledge and plan to turn things around! :) I'll try to update more often...I know it's a bummer since I used to update more often, but I promise to try to do better!! Love y'all! :D
XO
Kymber.
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
I Won't Let You Close Enough to Hurt Me....
Have you ever just had a day where all the thoughts you want to push out of your mind keep coming up? And with these questions you dread every second of the day because these are issues you've burried for so long? The answers to these questions are something you need to know...but yet, you are afraid to ask because the answers may just be worse than what you think it could be? You are so afraid to lose something so special to you that you act as if everything is fine? Yet you are desperate to get rid of the one thing that is slowly ruining every last bit of you? If you don't do something soon you fear losing not only this something special but every last part of the you that you used to be?
I'm not sure if I'm the only that has ever felt this way. I doubt it. I'm holding on to something for dear life that I probably should have let go a long time ago. I should have been able to let go when all the signs were there, telling me I mean nothing and have been left on the sidelines. This..something I'm holding onto was there to pick up the pieces of a broken girl. If it weren't for this....something....I'm not sure what would have happened to me.
I've changed a lot over the years. Since I was a broken 14 year old girl. With my 20th birthday coming up in the next couple of weeks I'm wondering if it's really time to let go. I don't want to. I've been clinging on with everything I have for so long. Letting go feels like the end of everything that's kept me together. I want to hold on to this thing to feel some normalcy. I'm afraid if I lose it I will be left scared and alone again. Trusting nothing.
But, it's time to move on right? Growing up is full of hard things...and I guess this is just one of the hard things for me? It's shown it's true colors...time for me to let go and move on. I deserve better than this.
Until next time my lovelies.
XO
Kymber.
I'm not sure if I'm the only that has ever felt this way. I doubt it. I'm holding on to something for dear life that I probably should have let go a long time ago. I should have been able to let go when all the signs were there, telling me I mean nothing and have been left on the sidelines. This..something I'm holding onto was there to pick up the pieces of a broken girl. If it weren't for this....something....I'm not sure what would have happened to me.
I've changed a lot over the years. Since I was a broken 14 year old girl. With my 20th birthday coming up in the next couple of weeks I'm wondering if it's really time to let go. I don't want to. I've been clinging on with everything I have for so long. Letting go feels like the end of everything that's kept me together. I want to hold on to this thing to feel some normalcy. I'm afraid if I lose it I will be left scared and alone again. Trusting nothing.
But, it's time to move on right? Growing up is full of hard things...and I guess this is just one of the hard things for me? It's shown it's true colors...time for me to let go and move on. I deserve better than this.
Until next time my lovelies.
XO
Kymber.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
This Day Probably Tore Me Apart and I Didn't Even Know It.....
I have been so super busy with classes and working and family stuff. It's all so much. This week has been awful. I feel like I've been running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. Thankfully, today I don't have to be to work until 5 and I have been able to relax and enjoy sometime home alone and watched a lovely movie.
It's called Love, Wedding, Marriage. It has Mandy Moore and Kellan Lutz (sigh.) in it. It was super cute...and it doesn't hurt that Kellan Lutz was shirtless a few times....that man is one of a kind. If you don't know who he is there is seriously something wrong with you. I genuinely believe he is a decent human being.
Anways, you should see this movie. I loved it! :) It's very chick flicky...so...ya know. Movies are always a good way to escape the real world for a while. It's nice. I wish my life could be like a movie. Gosh, I wish my life could be like a John Hughes movie. That'd be totally legit.
Anyways, this is just my little update for you all. I'm trying to balance everything out at the moment..and it's harder than I want it to be. But that means it will be worth it in the end right? I've go to raise my GPA up a little bit before I can even seriously think about doing a study abroad session and living in England for a semester or two...So I have to stay focused on school. I'm trying to block out all the drama right now. I'm trying not to care. That's gonna be hard...so, we'll see what happens. I have even gone as far as changing people's names in my phone...well...one, to don't text them. make them work.....so serious about that. Oh! Before I forget Nyya and Kymber After Dark in the Afternoon is going to be coming back starting Monday! :) We are going to try and make it legit this "season." We already have a few specials planned...our own Breaking Dawn trailer where I will be playing the part of Edward Cullen, Clarence will be Bella Swan, and Nyya is going to be everybody else. We also have a singing in the car special idea...and making a music video for our own version of 'Friday' called 'Wednesday.' I will post a link to our videos with each new one on here. Thanks for reading!!
Love you all madly! :) If you have any ideas for Nyya And Kymber After Dark in the Afternoon leave a comment and let me know! We are open to ideas to make our show the best it can be!
XO
Kymber.
PS: tomorrow is One Tree Hill day! (8 years since I watched the first episode!!) 8 years of One Tree Hill!! Whooooo!!!! :D
It's called Love, Wedding, Marriage. It has Mandy Moore and Kellan Lutz (sigh.) in it. It was super cute...and it doesn't hurt that Kellan Lutz was shirtless a few times....that man is one of a kind. If you don't know who he is there is seriously something wrong with you. I genuinely believe he is a decent human being.
Anways, you should see this movie. I loved it! :) It's very chick flicky...so...ya know. Movies are always a good way to escape the real world for a while. It's nice. I wish my life could be like a movie. Gosh, I wish my life could be like a John Hughes movie. That'd be totally legit.
Anyways, this is just my little update for you all. I'm trying to balance everything out at the moment..and it's harder than I want it to be. But that means it will be worth it in the end right? I've go to raise my GPA up a little bit before I can even seriously think about doing a study abroad session and living in England for a semester or two...So I have to stay focused on school. I'm trying to block out all the drama right now. I'm trying not to care. That's gonna be hard...so, we'll see what happens. I have even gone as far as changing people's names in my phone...well...one, to don't text them. make them work.....so serious about that. Oh! Before I forget Nyya and Kymber After Dark in the Afternoon is going to be coming back starting Monday! :) We are going to try and make it legit this "season." We already have a few specials planned...our own Breaking Dawn trailer where I will be playing the part of Edward Cullen, Clarence will be Bella Swan, and Nyya is going to be everybody else. We also have a singing in the car special idea...and making a music video for our own version of 'Friday' called 'Wednesday.' I will post a link to our videos with each new one on here. Thanks for reading!!
Love you all madly! :) If you have any ideas for Nyya And Kymber After Dark in the Afternoon leave a comment and let me know! We are open to ideas to make our show the best it can be!
XO
Kymber.
PS: tomorrow is One Tree Hill day! (8 years since I watched the first episode!!) 8 years of One Tree Hill!! Whooooo!!!! :D
Friday, September 9, 2011
Alone...
I feel so alone. With Kaycie so far away and needing a shoulder to cry on tonight is harder with her all the way in Utah. I'm not sure what to think anymore....or who to trust. I feel sick. Why do all my best friends live so far away? At least the ones that would understand and be what I need them to be. I'm going to lose myself in a story and then head to bed. Night all.
XO
Kymber.
XO
Kymber.
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
The Roads Not Taken.
The last couple of days I have been thinking about how my life could be different. How I could be different. I know we shouldn't dwell on the 'what ifs' in life, but I have found a few things out lately about different people and it makes me wonder what would have happened had my family stayed in Oklahoma.
I'm not naming names or saying that everyone I knew in Oklahoma is just awful and doing all these things that I would never do and blah blah blah. It's just interesting to see how much everyone has changed. I mean we've all changed. I no longer look at the world as a place filled with sunshine and rainbows...I'm not some extremely trusting person anymore either... But what if some of the biggest events in my life had happened in Oklahoma? What if my parents divorce had happened there? Would I have taken the road that some many before me have taken to self destruction? If my parents didn't end up divorced would I have taken that road anyways and completely lose myself and everything I believe in today?
I'm nowhere near perfect. I don't do everything I'm supposed to do. I don't always make the right decisions in how I need to handle things. But, I haven't strayed to far from what I've believed in since I was a child.
If I had stayed in Oklahoma would I be the party girl that believes in only having fun when drunk? Would I be sleeping around with everybody? It's hard for me to even comprehend how I would be if that were the case. I would have completely lost myself in every way imaginable.
But, what has made me stay this way? I have had plenty of opportunities to go out and drink with people, especially since starting college. I haven't had any opportunities to sleep around, not that I'm complaining, just saying. But, why is it that I have chosen to stay this way? It'd be so easy to lose myself and yet I stay the same. I politely decline alcohol and I'm not usually seen at parties. So, what is so different about me than the people in Oklahoma? Once upon a time we all believed the same things. We used to do everything together and yet we are all completely different now. Is it just the life experiences that have been the major deciding factor on how we turned out? I'm just not sure what to think. What makes me different from them? Or them different from me? Who knows..But I have been wondering lately about all the 'What ifs'. not completely sure why...but there it is.
Until next time my lovely readers. :)
XO
Kymber.
I'm not naming names or saying that everyone I knew in Oklahoma is just awful and doing all these things that I would never do and blah blah blah. It's just interesting to see how much everyone has changed. I mean we've all changed. I no longer look at the world as a place filled with sunshine and rainbows...I'm not some extremely trusting person anymore either... But what if some of the biggest events in my life had happened in Oklahoma? What if my parents divorce had happened there? Would I have taken the road that some many before me have taken to self destruction? If my parents didn't end up divorced would I have taken that road anyways and completely lose myself and everything I believe in today?
I'm nowhere near perfect. I don't do everything I'm supposed to do. I don't always make the right decisions in how I need to handle things. But, I haven't strayed to far from what I've believed in since I was a child.
If I had stayed in Oklahoma would I be the party girl that believes in only having fun when drunk? Would I be sleeping around with everybody? It's hard for me to even comprehend how I would be if that were the case. I would have completely lost myself in every way imaginable.
But, what has made me stay this way? I have had plenty of opportunities to go out and drink with people, especially since starting college. I haven't had any opportunities to sleep around, not that I'm complaining, just saying. But, why is it that I have chosen to stay this way? It'd be so easy to lose myself and yet I stay the same. I politely decline alcohol and I'm not usually seen at parties. So, what is so different about me than the people in Oklahoma? Once upon a time we all believed the same things. We used to do everything together and yet we are all completely different now. Is it just the life experiences that have been the major deciding factor on how we turned out? I'm just not sure what to think. What makes me different from them? Or them different from me? Who knows..But I have been wondering lately about all the 'What ifs'. not completely sure why...but there it is.
Until next time my lovely readers. :)
XO
Kymber.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Back To School To Prove To Dad I'm Not a Fool.....
So, my third year of college has officially started! I'm kind of excited to see where this year takes me. I have a feeling it's going to be a wonderful year! :D I had a fabulous lunch yesterday with my best friend and an old friend from school. It was pretty fun! But lunch with my best friend is always fun. He is highly amusing. Although yesterday he kept like bumping his elbow into my arm and my arm kinda hurts today....sigh. But, I hit him back so it was even. We always act a little crazy when we get together. That's why I love him. I can be a complete fool, out in public, and not care what everyone else thinks because he looks just as dorky as I do. Thankfully this time he didn't throw anything at me...I can't remember the last time we got together that didn't end in us throwing things at each other..hmm...
Anyways, then I had a break from 1:15-4 and was able to hang out with Nyya for a little bit! We went to the thrift store, then Old Navy, and then we went to what I like to call Camp Taco on steroids....it was set up like a Moe's....just with Camp Taco stuff....it was good but I like our ghetto, you can tell it used to be a subway, Camp Taco. :) Then we made our way back to campus and off to class we went. We met up for dinner and checked out all the quality......campus is definitely stepping up their quality game...not gonna lie.
One thing that annoys me though is all the stinking couples on campus!! Like, seriously people?! I don't want to see you all holding hands and being all kissy kissy with each other...I mean barf. I could seriously just start kicking people at random times. It makes me sick. And it's like a constant reminder that I'm almost 20 and still alone. Thank you world for pointing out the obvious. -_- I had to get an X-Ray done the other day and the lady didn't even ask if I could be preggers....and usually they ask that right? I mean it's been awhile since I had to have that done but I remember being asked that. It's not like I have a chance to be preggers...and I won't until I'm married because that's a choice I have made...but still it would have been nice to have been asked. I thought maybe I have a sign on my head that says pathetically single. LOL!
Oh well. Another day...same story. Typical Kymber. :D I've given up on guys. That's why I'm gonna end up being the crazy cat lady....and dang proud of that fact too! ;)
Well, I'm exhausted and have to be up early in the morning to do some things and get school books. Yay. Not really.
Until next time my lovely readers.
XO
Kymber.
Anyways, then I had a break from 1:15-4 and was able to hang out with Nyya for a little bit! We went to the thrift store, then Old Navy, and then we went to what I like to call Camp Taco on steroids....it was set up like a Moe's....just with Camp Taco stuff....it was good but I like our ghetto, you can tell it used to be a subway, Camp Taco. :) Then we made our way back to campus and off to class we went. We met up for dinner and checked out all the quality......campus is definitely stepping up their quality game...not gonna lie.
One thing that annoys me though is all the stinking couples on campus!! Like, seriously people?! I don't want to see you all holding hands and being all kissy kissy with each other...I mean barf. I could seriously just start kicking people at random times. It makes me sick. And it's like a constant reminder that I'm almost 20 and still alone. Thank you world for pointing out the obvious. -_- I had to get an X-Ray done the other day and the lady didn't even ask if I could be preggers....and usually they ask that right? I mean it's been awhile since I had to have that done but I remember being asked that. It's not like I have a chance to be preggers...and I won't until I'm married because that's a choice I have made...but still it would have been nice to have been asked. I thought maybe I have a sign on my head that says pathetically single. LOL!
Oh well. Another day...same story. Typical Kymber. :D I've given up on guys. That's why I'm gonna end up being the crazy cat lady....and dang proud of that fact too! ;)
Well, I'm exhausted and have to be up early in the morning to do some things and get school books. Yay. Not really.
Until next time my lovely readers.
XO
Kymber.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Love Is Louder
So many people now a days are rude and inconsiderate and....just awful towards others. You see this more in schools because kids can be horrible. I'm not perfect. I have said mean things about others behind their backs. But, I have never been so hateful to others. If you ask anyone they will tell you I can't be mean. I used to be able to be rude and not care what people thought or their feelings, but what's the point in that?
With the way people treat others it's no wonder kids have so many issues. What's the point to being rude? To make your self feel better about your own insecurities? Bringing someone down and pointing out their flaws to cover up your own isn't the way it should be people! We should be working together to lift up their spirits. That will make you feel so good about yourself. So much more than being rude to them. The world needs more love. It needs people who are willing to tell others just how great they are.
We are never alone. We have an amazing Heavenly Father who loves us. No matter what we do, he'll always love us. Don't forget that. He's there when you feel like you have nobody else. Try to remember that.
Love is Louder than the bullies we have all faced. I was teased in elementary school so much. As well as in my own home. I have felt alone and pathetic and helpless. I have come home crying to my mother to home school me so I wouldn't have to deal with the mean kids any longer. But, I have over come those hurtful words. I am working on being more confident and loving who I am. You can do it too. Because I love you. And I believe in you. I promise you that for every 1 bully out there, you have 10 more people who love you for you. Don't give into the hate. Brush off the haters and be you. Because you are who you are and anyone who doesn't love you just the way you are isn't worth a minute of your time.
Until next time my favorite people.
XO
Kymber.
With the way people treat others it's no wonder kids have so many issues. What's the point to being rude? To make your self feel better about your own insecurities? Bringing someone down and pointing out their flaws to cover up your own isn't the way it should be people! We should be working together to lift up their spirits. That will make you feel so good about yourself. So much more than being rude to them. The world needs more love. It needs people who are willing to tell others just how great they are.
We are never alone. We have an amazing Heavenly Father who loves us. No matter what we do, he'll always love us. Don't forget that. He's there when you feel like you have nobody else. Try to remember that.
Love is Louder than the bullies we have all faced. I was teased in elementary school so much. As well as in my own home. I have felt alone and pathetic and helpless. I have come home crying to my mother to home school me so I wouldn't have to deal with the mean kids any longer. But, I have over come those hurtful words. I am working on being more confident and loving who I am. You can do it too. Because I love you. And I believe in you. I promise you that for every 1 bully out there, you have 10 more people who love you for you. Don't give into the hate. Brush off the haters and be you. Because you are who you are and anyone who doesn't love you just the way you are isn't worth a minute of your time.
Until next time my favorite people.
XO
Kymber.
Sunday, July 31, 2011
Music is My Boyfriend.
So, I have to say I love music. ALL of it. I can go from listening to Usher one minute to Joan Jett the next. It all depends on my mood. I've mentioned before that WorkPlay is my favorite place ever...and I've seen lots of people there and I love them all. But, I haven't put any links for you guys to just be a click away from awesomeness!! I know...I'm awful. Let's see if this works! Here are some videos of songs I LOVE!! And some new artists...well...new to me. :D Enjoy!!
Kate Voegele: Manhattan From The Sky
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQKHhvJ1pKA&feature=related
Tyler Hilton: This World Will Turn Your Way
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l70nzIO8uFo
Bobby Long: Dead and Done
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAG2flpe8Yg
100 Monkeys: Ugly Girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOPP3r3Ci2M
The Civil Wars: Poison & Wine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfzRlcnq_c0
Angus and Julia Stone: Big Jet Plane
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFTvbcNhEgc&ob=av3e
Hope you enjoyed them!!! Love you all!!
XO
Kymber.
Kate Voegele: Manhattan From The Sky
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yQKHhvJ1pKA&feature=related
Tyler Hilton: This World Will Turn Your Way
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l70nzIO8uFo
Bobby Long: Dead and Done
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AAG2flpe8Yg
100 Monkeys: Ugly Girl
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cOPP3r3Ci2M
The Civil Wars: Poison & Wine
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfzRlcnq_c0
Angus and Julia Stone: Big Jet Plane
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yFTvbcNhEgc&ob=av3e
Hope you enjoyed them!!! Love you all!!
XO
Kymber.
Friday, July 29, 2011
I'm Not Ok....I Promise.
Lately I've been thinking a lot about trust. And with my past experiences how I've trusted the wrong people. I don't give a lot pf people my full trust anymore. I did...and that person has repeatedly hurt me over and over...unintentionally...I believe so, but hurt me no less. And I'm not upset with this person anymore...I'm more upset with myself. If I had stayed closed off to them like I do with almost everyone I would have never been put in the vulnerable state that I am with this one person. So, I close up once again.
I guess I've come to believe in having no expectations for people. Where do expectations leave you? Hurt when those you have these expectations for don't meet up to them. So, no expectations no hurting....right? People are never what they seem, so why expect something out of them that won't happen?
That's all for today. I've had an emotional last few weeks. A lot has gone on. And I'm exhausted. But! Before I leave you for today's post....I have started another blog! This one is more of my every day thoughts type deal...more personal. My new blog is called Dear People of The World, here I talk about things that annoy me. And may or may not be kid friendly. So, you've been warned. If you're interested in it I'm planning on updating it at least once a day. You can find it at dearpploftheworld.blogspot.com :)
Love you all madly.
XO
Kymber.
I guess I've come to believe in having no expectations for people. Where do expectations leave you? Hurt when those you have these expectations for don't meet up to them. So, no expectations no hurting....right? People are never what they seem, so why expect something out of them that won't happen?
That's all for today. I've had an emotional last few weeks. A lot has gone on. And I'm exhausted. But! Before I leave you for today's post....I have started another blog! This one is more of my every day thoughts type deal...more personal. My new blog is called Dear People of The World, here I talk about things that annoy me. And may or may not be kid friendly. So, you've been warned. If you're interested in it I'm planning on updating it at least once a day. You can find it at dearpploftheworld.blogspot.com :)
Love you all madly.
XO
Kymber.
Friday, July 8, 2011
What is the Purpose of the Rubber Duck?
Well, unless you have lived under a rock for the last 10 years you know that Harry Potter is one of the most epic things ever. I have been in love with Harry Potter and his adventures at Hogwarts since I was 9 years old.
I remember that when I first started reading the Harry Potter books. My mom would read them to me and my younger siblings before we fell asleep. She didn't end up finishing the first one, but that's besides the point. We would get so excited for bed time because we knew we'd hear more of Harry Potter and his first year at Hogwarts. I ended up reading all the books that were out at that time before I finished the 5th grade. My favorite book? Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. It also happens to be my favorite movie....at least so far. I do believe that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 will kick it out of my favorite spot. And, before any of you start to think that the only reason I like the Goblet of Fire most is because Robert Pattinson is in it, you are mistaken. The Goblet of Fire is just so...awesome. I can't really put my finger on what I love the most about it. There's just so many things. I even wrote my British Lit final on it.
I used to wish that I'd get my Hogwarts letter at 11. I thought I could be super awesome at helping Harry out with all the tasks to beat Voldemort. But....as we all know Harry Potter is not real. So, I did not get my Hogwarts letter. Although, I'd be a totally super awesome wizard. ;)
Next week the final Harry Potter movie comes out. I am excited....SO excited. And also extremely sad. It's the end of my childhood dreams. The end of an obsession. I'm ending this amazing journey at the midnight premier. I will be attending with my mother. Last year I went with Kaycie and Madeline. The movie before that I went with Kadarius. So many memories. It's all about to be over. I know I'm going to cry in the end. I've grown up with Harry Potter. I've cheered him on and cried with him.
I know I'll still be able to read the books and watch the movies...save up some money and go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter again. I know I'll be able to relive it all. But, in 20 years when Harry Potter is a memory I'll be able to say 'I was able to experience it all first hand. Reading the books and seeing the movies. I was there.' I am....and will forever be a proud member of the Harry Potter Generation. Here I add pictures from the Harry Potter theme park! :) Enjoy. And...go see Harry Potter people!!!
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XO
Kymber.
I remember that when I first started reading the Harry Potter books. My mom would read them to me and my younger siblings before we fell asleep. She didn't end up finishing the first one, but that's besides the point. We would get so excited for bed time because we knew we'd hear more of Harry Potter and his first year at Hogwarts. I ended up reading all the books that were out at that time before I finished the 5th grade. My favorite book? Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire. It also happens to be my favorite movie....at least so far. I do believe that Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 will kick it out of my favorite spot. And, before any of you start to think that the only reason I like the Goblet of Fire most is because Robert Pattinson is in it, you are mistaken. The Goblet of Fire is just so...awesome. I can't really put my finger on what I love the most about it. There's just so many things. I even wrote my British Lit final on it.
I used to wish that I'd get my Hogwarts letter at 11. I thought I could be super awesome at helping Harry out with all the tasks to beat Voldemort. But....as we all know Harry Potter is not real. So, I did not get my Hogwarts letter. Although, I'd be a totally super awesome wizard. ;)
Next week the final Harry Potter movie comes out. I am excited....SO excited. And also extremely sad. It's the end of my childhood dreams. The end of an obsession. I'm ending this amazing journey at the midnight premier. I will be attending with my mother. Last year I went with Kaycie and Madeline. The movie before that I went with Kadarius. So many memories. It's all about to be over. I know I'm going to cry in the end. I've grown up with Harry Potter. I've cheered him on and cried with him.
I know I'll still be able to read the books and watch the movies...save up some money and go to the Wizarding World of Harry Potter again. I know I'll be able to relive it all. But, in 20 years when Harry Potter is a memory I'll be able to say 'I was able to experience it all first hand. Reading the books and seeing the movies. I was there.' I am....and will forever be a proud member of the Harry Potter Generation. Here I add pictures from the Harry Potter theme park! :) Enjoy. And...go see Harry Potter people!!!
Kymber.
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Time May Change Me....
Well, it's official...Kaycie has moved. In a little over a month I will be starting my third year of college. I have amazing friends. I love the people in my life...But I feel like I'm being suffocated by everything here. Does that make any sense? I'm working on getting happier and doing things I want to do. This past year has changed me so much. Some for the better...some for the worst.
In the past year I have gone through so much. More than I had ever expected I would. I got a new roomie, who I thought was crazy and didn't really want to talk to now...she's not so bad, I got to meet the 100 Monkeys (which includes Jackson Rathbone...aka Jasper Hale in the Twilight Saga), I found out my uncle was dying from an extremely rare liver cancer, I went crazy, I lost said uncle July 1, 2010...and that was all within the start of 2010.
I've had fun mixed in with all the sadness through this time. Kaycie, Morgan, and myself got to meet Tyler Hilton and Dion Roy at WorkPlay..and Kaycie and I got to meet Bobby Long at WorkPlay too. If I could I would live there. I love the atmosphere of that place. I'd quit my job in a heart beat to work there. I so love it.
I have come to terms with things that I would imagine in my head would happen...that just aren't ever going to happen. Giving up on far fetched dreams can be a little depressing..but my heart will be more protected this way. Who can you trust anymore? Only yourself...and sometimes that's not the best idea either.
My little sister is going to be a Junior in High School in August....I feel so unbelievable old. But, this makes me think about what I was like going into my Junior year....It's weird to see how extremely different we are. The summer before my Junior year I was helping out with the football team, I was trying to put the pieces of my shattered 15 year old heart back together and move on. I started liking a guy who made me feel special and important...and let's just say that that didn't work out to my advantage either. My little sister on the other hand, has gone on several dates and is gorgeous. The boys love her. She's more interested in finding a job than doing a whole lot of extracurricular activities. Which is good for her personality. I'm proud of her. Really I am. Jealous of the way boys seem to be drawn to her? Yes. But happy for her getting to do all she wants.
I sometimes wonder what my High School years would have been like if I did things differently...what if I would have said one thing instead of another...flirted with this one guy instead of being shy...but, I guess we just learn to move on. I don't want to be stuck in the past. I don't want the best years of my life to be the four years I spent in high school. Did I have fun? Yes. Do I wish I was back there? Heck no.
I have decided that once I graduate I'm going to try to move to London. I think a break from people around here is just what I need. The only contact I'd be able to have with anyone really would be Facebook or Skype. And the time differences are so large that even that would be hard to pull off. I need a clear head. I can't think straight about things around different people. I need away from that. I want to go and be who I want to be. Not someone that is known as people's younger or older sister. Not someone who has all these different expectations for people that constantly let me down. I want to be care free and hang out with people and be able to act fool and not be judged for that. I want to feel important to someone. I want to receive as much as I give. And I haven't found that here. I feel like I put so much effort into certain things and get nothing in return. I enjoy spending time with people and I love my friends. But sometimes it'd be nice to feel appreciated. To feel like someone is thinking of me. Someone wants me. So many choices to make and it seems like I have no time to make them. I think a year abroad would do me good. Maybe kick this anxiety's butt that I have gained in the past year. It would be so nice to feel somewhat normal again. I guess time will tell. If I'm meant to live in London then it will happen. If I'm not, well, I'm getting the heck out of Alabama. I can't stay here forever.
Until next time my lovely readers.
XO
Kymber.
In the past year I have gone through so much. More than I had ever expected I would. I got a new roomie, who I thought was crazy and didn't really want to talk to now...she's not so bad, I got to meet the 100 Monkeys (which includes Jackson Rathbone...aka Jasper Hale in the Twilight Saga), I found out my uncle was dying from an extremely rare liver cancer, I went crazy, I lost said uncle July 1, 2010...and that was all within the start of 2010.
I've had fun mixed in with all the sadness through this time. Kaycie, Morgan, and myself got to meet Tyler Hilton and Dion Roy at WorkPlay..and Kaycie and I got to meet Bobby Long at WorkPlay too. If I could I would live there. I love the atmosphere of that place. I'd quit my job in a heart beat to work there. I so love it.
I have come to terms with things that I would imagine in my head would happen...that just aren't ever going to happen. Giving up on far fetched dreams can be a little depressing..but my heart will be more protected this way. Who can you trust anymore? Only yourself...and sometimes that's not the best idea either.
My little sister is going to be a Junior in High School in August....I feel so unbelievable old. But, this makes me think about what I was like going into my Junior year....It's weird to see how extremely different we are. The summer before my Junior year I was helping out with the football team, I was trying to put the pieces of my shattered 15 year old heart back together and move on. I started liking a guy who made me feel special and important...and let's just say that that didn't work out to my advantage either. My little sister on the other hand, has gone on several dates and is gorgeous. The boys love her. She's more interested in finding a job than doing a whole lot of extracurricular activities. Which is good for her personality. I'm proud of her. Really I am. Jealous of the way boys seem to be drawn to her? Yes. But happy for her getting to do all she wants.
I sometimes wonder what my High School years would have been like if I did things differently...what if I would have said one thing instead of another...flirted with this one guy instead of being shy...but, I guess we just learn to move on. I don't want to be stuck in the past. I don't want the best years of my life to be the four years I spent in high school. Did I have fun? Yes. Do I wish I was back there? Heck no.
I have decided that once I graduate I'm going to try to move to London. I think a break from people around here is just what I need. The only contact I'd be able to have with anyone really would be Facebook or Skype. And the time differences are so large that even that would be hard to pull off. I need a clear head. I can't think straight about things around different people. I need away from that. I want to go and be who I want to be. Not someone that is known as people's younger or older sister. Not someone who has all these different expectations for people that constantly let me down. I want to be care free and hang out with people and be able to act fool and not be judged for that. I want to feel important to someone. I want to receive as much as I give. And I haven't found that here. I feel like I put so much effort into certain things and get nothing in return. I enjoy spending time with people and I love my friends. But sometimes it'd be nice to feel appreciated. To feel like someone is thinking of me. Someone wants me. So many choices to make and it seems like I have no time to make them. I think a year abroad would do me good. Maybe kick this anxiety's butt that I have gained in the past year. It would be so nice to feel somewhat normal again. I guess time will tell. If I'm meant to live in London then it will happen. If I'm not, well, I'm getting the heck out of Alabama. I can't stay here forever.
Until next time my lovely readers.
XO
Kymber.
Friday, June 10, 2011
When You Wish Upon A Star....
Well, it's Friday, my last official day of vacation. Tomorrow we leave to head back home, but not before we make a pit stop at a beach and relax for a little while. It has been a remarkable trip. We have done SO much! I've loved every second of it!
We got here last Wednesday. Rileigh and I went to Epcot on Thursday, and let me tell you, Epcot....is amazing. We both love all things British and we were able to eat lunch at the UK pavilion. We also went shopping! I got a Union Jack key chain, a super cute purse that I can't wait to use, and a bracelet. I think that's it. We ate fish and chips for lunch..and I hate fish. But...it wasn't too terrible bad. I should have so been British. And born in the '80s to rock the bad dance moves...but, that's another story. We then went through the rest of the 'world' and had French pastries. I got a strawberry tart and Rileigh got a chocolate mousse. Both were incredible. Yum!!! We met Tinkerbell before we went back into the worlds part. Waited in line for her for like an hour and a half....yeah...I know. We rode some rides...drank some pop from all over the world. Germany's was the bomb. It's like orange flavored coke. Kinda like how they have cherry coke..but just orange. uhhh....let's see...what else happened that day....we rode the future ride...and created our future. It's pretty funny. And I wanna say that's it...
Friday we went to the the Aquarium and Clearwater Beach. That was fun!! :) The Aquarium was pretty legit. I'll have to post pictures of that when I get home. We saw a penguin 'show.' That was fun. Shopped a little and then left for the beach. Ahhh.....the beach. So nice and relaxing. Beach boys are very nice to look at. ;) Then, Rileigh's awesome parents bought us pizza for dinner and we left shortly after that.
Saturday we went to Universal Studios. It was pretty cool. Got to walk through a house that looked like it had been hit by a tornado, for the movie Twister, and then got to stand in a thing that looked like it was a scene from the movie and witness a 'tornado' tearing up the drive in movie theater...super legit. Then, we went on the Mummy ride....gotta say..not a fan. Scared the mess out of me. But, I'm not much of a ride person anyways. We walked around some more.....AND GOT TO SEE THE ACTUAL CARS FROM FAST FIVE!!!! Yes...the very cars Paul Walker and Vin Diesel sat their beautiful butts in. It was super legit. Almost died. I love the fast and furious movies! :) We watched a Horror movie make up show. That was weird...and also pretty awesome. The make up guy was probably on something....I think. Dude was insane. We ate lunch at a '50s place that reminded me of Johnny Rockets. It was soo good!! Walked around...looked in the shops..didn't buy anything.
Sunday...was....STAR WARS WEEKEND at Hollywood studios so, Rileigh, her little sister, and myself went there. It was AWESOME!!! We stood in line for like an hour to meet Darth Vader. Oh Yeah!!! Got his autograph and a picture with him. Ba Boom!! We ate lunch at the Sci Fi diner....amazing. Some of those old sci fi movies looked so ridiculous...like 'Cat Women on the Moon'....yeah go YouTube that crap. haha!!! So entertaining. The food was fabulous. And Rileigh's amazing parents paid for it! :) So sweet. We rode the Star Tours ride...that was legit. It was like we were in the different places and on the different planets...super cool. We rode that one...twice I think. We also met Luke and Laia...Laia was super nice! And Luke was hilarious. hahaha! We bought tshirts and this super awesome key chain....that's a lightsaber! How freaking cool is that?!?! I got Anikan's, Rileigh got Darth Vader's because that's her man. We also watched some show where the Star Wars characters have a dance off. Darth Vader knows how to bust a move...so does Chewbacca. Totally awesome!!! I took some videos...fingers crossed that they turn out well. haha.
Monday was the Magic Kingdom...and it was in fact magical. We didn't get there until like 12:30 because we slept in. But, we took the monorail to get there and then went through the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House...super cool! I love that movie!! Then we went to ride the Pirates of the Caribbean ride...The pirates looked so real!! And the Jack Sparrow robot thingy looked just like Johnny Depp. It was amazing. I loved it. Then, we went to get ourselves a nice little treat. We got pineappley things. I got a pineapple float...I LOVED it!!! Rileigh got pineapple ice cream, she enjoyed hers as well. Then we ventured off to the Haunted Mansion...kinda freaky but, not too bad! We then went to find Rapunzel and Flynn Rider! I had to meet them 1) for myself and 2) for my sweet 4 year old niece. Little did we know that it was going to take us FOREVER to meet them. I stood in line for an hour and a half waiting to get in to meet them. Rileigh went to go ride a roller coaster I wasn't going to ride with her and I waited for our turn. Our line was cut off at 3:15 because they blocked it off and the next group wouldn't be able to go in until 4:15....welll....a TON of people left and I was able to make myself one of the first people that would be able to get in. Rileigh returned just in time for us to go in and meet them! They were both so super nice and funny. It was so worth the wait to meet them. :) We then went and rode the rides in the fairytale part. That was pretty fun. I enjoyed those ones. ;) We then made our way to Main Street and ate some AWESOME hot dogs. They were soooo good. Then...we went to stake out our seat for the light parade and the fireworks. We sat there for 2 hours before the parade started. But it was fun. We talked to some nice people from....Arkansas? And totally stalked a beautiful British man that works in the park. :) Then the light parade...super cool!!! Then we waited for the Fireworks and that was just amazing. Then, we went and rode a few more kiddie rides and then Rileigh rode Space Mountain and then we left!
Tuesday, we went shopping in Downtown Disney...not a whole lot to say about that. It was super fun and I got my niece's gifts! :) yay!!! Wednesday we had a lazy day. I literally stayed in bed until like 5 that night. It was amazing. Then we babysat all the little kids!
Thursday is where the fun really begins....we went to Island of Adventures!!!!! Yes, that is where the Harry Potter park is located. It was simply amazing!! I am going to have to end this here for now though...I promise to update and talk about Harry Potter World as soon as possible! Off to eat dinner and pack for the ride home tomorrow!!
XO
Kymber.
We got here last Wednesday. Rileigh and I went to Epcot on Thursday, and let me tell you, Epcot....is amazing. We both love all things British and we were able to eat lunch at the UK pavilion. We also went shopping! I got a Union Jack key chain, a super cute purse that I can't wait to use, and a bracelet. I think that's it. We ate fish and chips for lunch..and I hate fish. But...it wasn't too terrible bad. I should have so been British. And born in the '80s to rock the bad dance moves...but, that's another story. We then went through the rest of the 'world' and had French pastries. I got a strawberry tart and Rileigh got a chocolate mousse. Both were incredible. Yum!!! We met Tinkerbell before we went back into the worlds part. Waited in line for her for like an hour and a half....yeah...I know. We rode some rides...drank some pop from all over the world. Germany's was the bomb. It's like orange flavored coke. Kinda like how they have cherry coke..but just orange. uhhh....let's see...what else happened that day....we rode the future ride...and created our future. It's pretty funny. And I wanna say that's it...
Friday we went to the the Aquarium and Clearwater Beach. That was fun!! :) The Aquarium was pretty legit. I'll have to post pictures of that when I get home. We saw a penguin 'show.' That was fun. Shopped a little and then left for the beach. Ahhh.....the beach. So nice and relaxing. Beach boys are very nice to look at. ;) Then, Rileigh's awesome parents bought us pizza for dinner and we left shortly after that.
Saturday we went to Universal Studios. It was pretty cool. Got to walk through a house that looked like it had been hit by a tornado, for the movie Twister, and then got to stand in a thing that looked like it was a scene from the movie and witness a 'tornado' tearing up the drive in movie theater...super legit. Then, we went on the Mummy ride....gotta say..not a fan. Scared the mess out of me. But, I'm not much of a ride person anyways. We walked around some more.....AND GOT TO SEE THE ACTUAL CARS FROM FAST FIVE!!!! Yes...the very cars Paul Walker and Vin Diesel sat their beautiful butts in. It was super legit. Almost died. I love the fast and furious movies! :) We watched a Horror movie make up show. That was weird...and also pretty awesome. The make up guy was probably on something....I think. Dude was insane. We ate lunch at a '50s place that reminded me of Johnny Rockets. It was soo good!! Walked around...looked in the shops..didn't buy anything.
Sunday...was....STAR WARS WEEKEND at Hollywood studios so, Rileigh, her little sister, and myself went there. It was AWESOME!!! We stood in line for like an hour to meet Darth Vader. Oh Yeah!!! Got his autograph and a picture with him. Ba Boom!! We ate lunch at the Sci Fi diner....amazing. Some of those old sci fi movies looked so ridiculous...like 'Cat Women on the Moon'....yeah go YouTube that crap. haha!!! So entertaining. The food was fabulous. And Rileigh's amazing parents paid for it! :) So sweet. We rode the Star Tours ride...that was legit. It was like we were in the different places and on the different planets...super cool. We rode that one...twice I think. We also met Luke and Laia...Laia was super nice! And Luke was hilarious. hahaha! We bought tshirts and this super awesome key chain....that's a lightsaber! How freaking cool is that?!?! I got Anikan's, Rileigh got Darth Vader's because that's her man. We also watched some show where the Star Wars characters have a dance off. Darth Vader knows how to bust a move...so does Chewbacca. Totally awesome!!! I took some videos...fingers crossed that they turn out well. haha.
Monday was the Magic Kingdom...and it was in fact magical. We didn't get there until like 12:30 because we slept in. But, we took the monorail to get there and then went through the Swiss Family Robinson Tree House...super cool! I love that movie!! Then we went to ride the Pirates of the Caribbean ride...The pirates looked so real!! And the Jack Sparrow robot thingy looked just like Johnny Depp. It was amazing. I loved it. Then, we went to get ourselves a nice little treat. We got pineappley things. I got a pineapple float...I LOVED it!!! Rileigh got pineapple ice cream, she enjoyed hers as well. Then we ventured off to the Haunted Mansion...kinda freaky but, not too bad! We then went to find Rapunzel and Flynn Rider! I had to meet them 1) for myself and 2) for my sweet 4 year old niece. Little did we know that it was going to take us FOREVER to meet them. I stood in line for an hour and a half waiting to get in to meet them. Rileigh went to go ride a roller coaster I wasn't going to ride with her and I waited for our turn. Our line was cut off at 3:15 because they blocked it off and the next group wouldn't be able to go in until 4:15....welll....a TON of people left and I was able to make myself one of the first people that would be able to get in. Rileigh returned just in time for us to go in and meet them! They were both so super nice and funny. It was so worth the wait to meet them. :) We then went and rode the rides in the fairytale part. That was pretty fun. I enjoyed those ones. ;) We then made our way to Main Street and ate some AWESOME hot dogs. They were soooo good. Then...we went to stake out our seat for the light parade and the fireworks. We sat there for 2 hours before the parade started. But it was fun. We talked to some nice people from....Arkansas? And totally stalked a beautiful British man that works in the park. :) Then the light parade...super cool!!! Then we waited for the Fireworks and that was just amazing. Then, we went and rode a few more kiddie rides and then Rileigh rode Space Mountain and then we left!
Tuesday, we went shopping in Downtown Disney...not a whole lot to say about that. It was super fun and I got my niece's gifts! :) yay!!! Wednesday we had a lazy day. I literally stayed in bed until like 5 that night. It was amazing. Then we babysat all the little kids!
Thursday is where the fun really begins....we went to Island of Adventures!!!!! Yes, that is where the Harry Potter park is located. It was simply amazing!! I am going to have to end this here for now though...I promise to update and talk about Harry Potter World as soon as possible! Off to eat dinner and pack for the ride home tomorrow!!
XO
Kymber.
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
La La La, whatever.
So...I am now two weeks away from leaving for Disney World!!! :D SOO excited! But, sadly, I haven't lost all the weight I wanted to. I am going to try to lose 10-15 more pounds before I leave. I'm hoping that will work. I want to lose it before I go shopping too. I'm determined to lose a bunch of weight this summer though. So, crossing my fingers and no longer eating is looking like how my summer's going to go. Hahaha just kidding! :)
I'm so excited!!! Rileigh and her brother will be here in less then 2 weeks and I still have to clean up my room and make it cute! I'm still on an extremely strict budget and all my money, except $20, and after paying my must haves, goes into savings. Rileigh still has me beat, but hopefully we won't spend $300 on gas each. That will help my budget. And I still have to go buy a few things. Like shorts and stuff. We'll see. I'm also still waiting for state tax refund to come in...and I kinda need it to be in there. Badly. I'm kinda counting on it being in there before I leave. Dumbness.
I'm so excited to go on this trip. A roadtrip with my best friend and Disney World AND Harry Potter World. Amazing. :) My inner 9 year old child has died and gone to Heaven. This is such an amazing opprotunity and I'll be forever thankful for being able to go on this trip. I'll keep you all updated while I'm there...hopefully. And of course post some pictures when I return! Muah!
XO
Kymber.
I'm so excited!!! Rileigh and her brother will be here in less then 2 weeks and I still have to clean up my room and make it cute! I'm still on an extremely strict budget and all my money, except $20, and after paying my must haves, goes into savings. Rileigh still has me beat, but hopefully we won't spend $300 on gas each. That will help my budget. And I still have to go buy a few things. Like shorts and stuff. We'll see. I'm also still waiting for state tax refund to come in...and I kinda need it to be in there. Badly. I'm kinda counting on it being in there before I leave. Dumbness.
I'm so excited to go on this trip. A roadtrip with my best friend and Disney World AND Harry Potter World. Amazing. :) My inner 9 year old child has died and gone to Heaven. This is such an amazing opprotunity and I'll be forever thankful for being able to go on this trip. I'll keep you all updated while I'm there...hopefully. And of course post some pictures when I return! Muah!
"Where dreams come true."
XO
Kymber.
Friday, April 29, 2011
No Words....
I cannot begin to express my extreme sorrow for the people of Tuscaloosa and Pleasant Grove. And everyone else who has been effected by the April 27, 2011 tornado in Alabama. There are still 400 people missing in Tuscaloosa alone. My heart is breaking for those family and friends of those people. Never have I seen such a high number of missing and dead. What am I asking? For anyone who has the money to donate to be able to do just that. For the people in Oklahoma....my hometown of Moore. We've gone through this extremely similar situation not only once...but twice. May 3, 1999 and May 8, 2003. These people need as much help as they can get. Money to help rebuild their homes would be exactly what they need. Money to help provide water bottles for them because they cannot drink tap water in fear of contamination. I have collect some pictures from the two tornadoes in Oklahoma as a reminder of the past and how we need to help these people...and the one just a few days ago. A video link will be available at the end of those pictures. Please...help these people. Help this state that has been my home for almost 8 years....help the people I care about. Please. Any little bit helps. God bless.
May 3, 1999
May 8, 2003
April 27, 2011
May 3, 1999
May 8, 2003
April 27, 2011
Please donate to the relief fund. We owe it to them as decent human beings. Please.
Until next time.
XO
Kymber.
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
You're a Beautiful Woman. You Deserve a Beautiful Life.
So...on April 22nd the most amazing movie ever was released into theaters. That movie? No, not African Cats...but Water for Elephants. It stars Reese Witherspoon and Robert Pattinson (SWOON). It is based on the New York Times best seller novel by Sara Gruen. It is an amazing love story. I was literally sitting on the edge of my seat with my friends. Everyone should see this movie. Honestly. Both Reese Witherspoon and Robert Pattinson blew me away. My heart broke for each of their characters. It made me wish I had an epic love story. The kind people dream about. The kind that only exists in books and fairy tales. I don't think of myself as a romantic. I'm realistic. I trust no one. There are very few people I allow to know different things about myself. My past is a secret to most of the people around me. Trust in others is something I lost a long time ago. But, that's not what this is about. I'm sorry I got a little side tracked.
Water for Elephants is a beautiful story. I am sad I didn't read the book first. But, I look forward to falling in love with these characters again. You should see it. Best $9.50 I've spent in a long time.
Love is worth the risk.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neY1pDAD3Ug&feature=related
XO
Kymber.
Water for Elephants is a beautiful story. I am sad I didn't read the book first. But, I look forward to falling in love with these characters again. You should see it. Best $9.50 I've spent in a long time.
Love is worth the risk.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=neY1pDAD3Ug&feature=related
XO
Kymber.
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Brian...
This gets no witty song lyric. No quotes. Just raw real emotions. I've been thinking about this a lot lately...so I had to get some of it off my chest...I apologize for the depressing-ness that is this blog.
When I was 12 years old my life was ending as I knew it. I was moving to some hick town called Chelsea. I felt like my family was falling apart. My life was ending. I was leaving everything I loved and knew to move 700 something miles away. I was a horrible child. I told my parents every day that if she made me move to Alabama I would make her life miserable. I made sure they knew they were ruining my life. Funny thing is that they originally decided to stay in Oklahoma because of what an awful child I was. But, right after they made that choice they felt as if they had made the wrong choice and decided that my dad need to take the job offer. And enter the end of my life.
I hated everyone and everything. I never wanted to leave Oklahoma. I loved that state. My friends were there. The people who cared the most about me were there. Why was it that my parents wanted to take all of that away from me?? Why did we have to leave? I remember the day they told me. We had a family meeting and they announced that after Ashley graduated from high school we would be moving to Alabama. My dad would work in Alabama during the week and fly home to spend the weekends with us. I cried. I went to Rileigh's house..and when her mom opened the door she just knew what was wrong. Rileigh had gotten in trouble and her dad said no visitors but her mom told him to let me go. I went in her room and she was complaining about getting in trouble for whatever bratty thing she had done. I hadn't even gotten a word in when she looked at me. I was trying my hardest to keep in my emotions..but..once she looked at me all I could say was I'm moving to Alabama. We both cried. Our friendship looked as though it was coming to an end. I had watched friends of mine move away and promise to keep in touch....but nobody ever did. You see people leave with false promises and you only end up disappointed. I miss some of the friends that moved and never kept in touch. But, I guess you find out who your real friends are sooner or later right? But, we still had a full school year left to hang out.
But, little did I know another curve ball was going to be thrown my way. On January 26, 2004, Brain Trammell died in a car accident on his way home from Norman. Brian was 17 and a family friend. I was never really close to the guy. But he was always just so nice. Or, at least I don't remember him ever being mean to me. His mom was my dad's secretary and every year we would have a Christmas party in our home for everyone my dad worked with. It was always a family event. Seeing as how there was 5 kids in our home everyone brought their kids with them. Brain would come and hang out with my older sister. Say some nice things to us kids and that would be all the interaction we'd have with him. I always thought he was just soooooo cute. He played football at the high school him and my sister went to. I think he helped push my wanting to go to Moore War. In the town I'm from We only had one football field for the two high schools. It was located on the campus of Moore High School. Each year the opening game, Moore War, was between Moore High School and Westmoore High School. I would push to go but my parents would always say no. Something about there being too many fights or whatever. But, finally I was able to go! I was in 6th grade and my parents said I could go with my dad. It was my first ever football game. I was so amazed by the atmosphere of the game. All these people here for one thing. To cheer on these teenage boys in a game I had never paid too much attention to. I remember asking my dad what a kick through the post thingy was. He laughed and explained to me that it was a field goal. I'd ask questions about the different positions and try to figure out the idea of the game. I hadn't grown up around football. Just basketball. My older brother was a HUGE Michael Jordan fan. My brother also played basketball and was totally BA at it. So, our families focus was basketball. But, that's completely off of the point. I fell in love with football that day. And we had sat next to Brian's parents. That is the point. The day I found my favorite sport. The one I can watch for hours on end like a guy was influenced by not only my dad, but Brian's mom and step dad.
There's this back road you can take to go to or from Norman back into Moore. It seems to be faster then the Interstate sometimes. Plus you get to enjoy all the flat scenery. Maybe 5 minutes away from Wal-Mart in Moore there is a hill on this road. Supposedly if you take it fast enough it will make you feel like you are on a roller coaster. I guess Brian and his two friends wanted to try that out. On a rainy night. He lost control of the car and hit a tree. The car caught on fire and they were trapped. Brian and the front passenger died there at the scene. The guy in the back died on his way to the hospital in an ambulance. Brian's mom wouldn't find out about what happened until hours later. She had picked up his Senior pictures that day. He never got to see them. I keep one in my wallet to remind me life is so short. We must embrace life. We have to be careful with how we do things. We can't act like crazy people. We need to value our lives. We aren't invincible. Death can take us at any age. My mom told me the next day on the way to pick Rileigh up to take us to school. I couldn't stop crying. Crying for Brian's family and friends. Crying because I was scared. Crying because he was such a nice guy. Rileigh was upset that my mom had told me so casually on the way to school. I then had to go through the rest of the day hearing about how stupid those three boys were. How they never should have been so dumb. We would be lectured by anyone who had taught any of the boys. Some would be sad and not say much. But others, my last teacher of the day, went on and on about the dumbness of them. I hated her already but that gave me more of a reason to hate her.
I couldn't sleep for a long time without crying myself to sleep. My older brother would have to rub my back while I laid there crying until I went to sleep. My mom told me she didn't want me to go to Brian's funeral. I didn't want to be anywhere else. I couldn't do a whole lot. I kept wondering what was going to happen to me at 17. I remember writing a note to my friend Bryce, asking him if I was going to die by then. Telling him how I was feeling. Bryce may have been one of the biggest jerks in the world, but that day he gave me a hug and told me everything was going to be okay. You see this was back in the day when I trusted guys. I let them in and they were able to see my heart. I was a mess. I don't think I stopped being a complete mess until after my sister's graduation. There's more to my journey through this but, there's nothing more all of you need to know. I'm still not sure why Brian's death had so much impact on my life. But it did. It has influenced a lot of things in my life. I may not be the best driver..and I admit I like to go kinda fast. But when it's stormy or any kind of rain really, I drive cautiously. I've been thinking about Brian a lot lately. I'm not sure why. But, I have. I wish for his family that he was still here. That they were able to see him go off and play football for OU. That he would be able to fall in love and get married and have a family of his own. I would never wish something this awful on anyone. Losing someone so beloved to you is never good. It hurts. But, over time the hurting is less. You still miss them, but that will never go away.
When I was 12 years old my life was ending as I knew it. I was moving to some hick town called Chelsea. I felt like my family was falling apart. My life was ending. I was leaving everything I loved and knew to move 700 something miles away. I was a horrible child. I told my parents every day that if she made me move to Alabama I would make her life miserable. I made sure they knew they were ruining my life. Funny thing is that they originally decided to stay in Oklahoma because of what an awful child I was. But, right after they made that choice they felt as if they had made the wrong choice and decided that my dad need to take the job offer. And enter the end of my life.
I hated everyone and everything. I never wanted to leave Oklahoma. I loved that state. My friends were there. The people who cared the most about me were there. Why was it that my parents wanted to take all of that away from me?? Why did we have to leave? I remember the day they told me. We had a family meeting and they announced that after Ashley graduated from high school we would be moving to Alabama. My dad would work in Alabama during the week and fly home to spend the weekends with us. I cried. I went to Rileigh's house..and when her mom opened the door she just knew what was wrong. Rileigh had gotten in trouble and her dad said no visitors but her mom told him to let me go. I went in her room and she was complaining about getting in trouble for whatever bratty thing she had done. I hadn't even gotten a word in when she looked at me. I was trying my hardest to keep in my emotions..but..once she looked at me all I could say was I'm moving to Alabama. We both cried. Our friendship looked as though it was coming to an end. I had watched friends of mine move away and promise to keep in touch....but nobody ever did. You see people leave with false promises and you only end up disappointed. I miss some of the friends that moved and never kept in touch. But, I guess you find out who your real friends are sooner or later right? But, we still had a full school year left to hang out.
But, little did I know another curve ball was going to be thrown my way. On January 26, 2004, Brain Trammell died in a car accident on his way home from Norman. Brian was 17 and a family friend. I was never really close to the guy. But he was always just so nice. Or, at least I don't remember him ever being mean to me. His mom was my dad's secretary and every year we would have a Christmas party in our home for everyone my dad worked with. It was always a family event. Seeing as how there was 5 kids in our home everyone brought their kids with them. Brain would come and hang out with my older sister. Say some nice things to us kids and that would be all the interaction we'd have with him. I always thought he was just soooooo cute. He played football at the high school him and my sister went to. I think he helped push my wanting to go to Moore War. In the town I'm from We only had one football field for the two high schools. It was located on the campus of Moore High School. Each year the opening game, Moore War, was between Moore High School and Westmoore High School. I would push to go but my parents would always say no. Something about there being too many fights or whatever. But, finally I was able to go! I was in 6th grade and my parents said I could go with my dad. It was my first ever football game. I was so amazed by the atmosphere of the game. All these people here for one thing. To cheer on these teenage boys in a game I had never paid too much attention to. I remember asking my dad what a kick through the post thingy was. He laughed and explained to me that it was a field goal. I'd ask questions about the different positions and try to figure out the idea of the game. I hadn't grown up around football. Just basketball. My older brother was a HUGE Michael Jordan fan. My brother also played basketball and was totally BA at it. So, our families focus was basketball. But, that's completely off of the point. I fell in love with football that day. And we had sat next to Brian's parents. That is the point. The day I found my favorite sport. The one I can watch for hours on end like a guy was influenced by not only my dad, but Brian's mom and step dad.
There's this back road you can take to go to or from Norman back into Moore. It seems to be faster then the Interstate sometimes. Plus you get to enjoy all the flat scenery. Maybe 5 minutes away from Wal-Mart in Moore there is a hill on this road. Supposedly if you take it fast enough it will make you feel like you are on a roller coaster. I guess Brian and his two friends wanted to try that out. On a rainy night. He lost control of the car and hit a tree. The car caught on fire and they were trapped. Brian and the front passenger died there at the scene. The guy in the back died on his way to the hospital in an ambulance. Brian's mom wouldn't find out about what happened until hours later. She had picked up his Senior pictures that day. He never got to see them. I keep one in my wallet to remind me life is so short. We must embrace life. We have to be careful with how we do things. We can't act like crazy people. We need to value our lives. We aren't invincible. Death can take us at any age. My mom told me the next day on the way to pick Rileigh up to take us to school. I couldn't stop crying. Crying for Brian's family and friends. Crying because I was scared. Crying because he was such a nice guy. Rileigh was upset that my mom had told me so casually on the way to school. I then had to go through the rest of the day hearing about how stupid those three boys were. How they never should have been so dumb. We would be lectured by anyone who had taught any of the boys. Some would be sad and not say much. But others, my last teacher of the day, went on and on about the dumbness of them. I hated her already but that gave me more of a reason to hate her.
I couldn't sleep for a long time without crying myself to sleep. My older brother would have to rub my back while I laid there crying until I went to sleep. My mom told me she didn't want me to go to Brian's funeral. I didn't want to be anywhere else. I couldn't do a whole lot. I kept wondering what was going to happen to me at 17. I remember writing a note to my friend Bryce, asking him if I was going to die by then. Telling him how I was feeling. Bryce may have been one of the biggest jerks in the world, but that day he gave me a hug and told me everything was going to be okay. You see this was back in the day when I trusted guys. I let them in and they were able to see my heart. I was a mess. I don't think I stopped being a complete mess until after my sister's graduation. There's more to my journey through this but, there's nothing more all of you need to know. I'm still not sure why Brian's death had so much impact on my life. But it did. It has influenced a lot of things in my life. I may not be the best driver..and I admit I like to go kinda fast. But when it's stormy or any kind of rain really, I drive cautiously. I've been thinking about Brian a lot lately. I'm not sure why. But, I have. I wish for his family that he was still here. That they were able to see him go off and play football for OU. That he would be able to fall in love and get married and have a family of his own. I would never wish something this awful on anyone. Losing someone so beloved to you is never good. It hurts. But, over time the hurting is less. You still miss them, but that will never go away.
Brian's Grave
Crash site.
Until next time.
XO
Kymber.
Thursday, April 14, 2011
I Love College
In the last couple of days I have realized I haven't written down a lot of my favorite experiences as a Freshman in college. Sad day. So, I'm going to post a few stories that I still think about every now and then. Stories that have in some way shaped the person I'm becoming.
It was move in day. I was nervous. I was about to move in with three strangers. The most contact I had with any of them was a message on Facebook. Or, well, Nyya had pop chatted me once. I wasn't sure what to expect. Amparo had said she wasn't a party girl but her Facebook and other comments had made me feel as if she would be. She was the one I was supposed to be sharing a room with and I was scared. I was the quiet, shy, I'd rather be at home then at a frat party, type person. And I just knew she was gonna be out partying all the time and I'd never get sleep. But, I got there and had my boxes outside the door and the first person I met was Amy. And of course Amy's army of people to help her set up all of her stuff. How she had so much stuff in her room I'll never understand. But anyways, my family helped me get everything set up. For some reason Morgan decided she wanted to make my bed....I didn't complain. I had my desk set up and my Twilight posters on the wall before Amparo even step foot in our room. Nyya came in and talked to me and Nick, who had stayed behind since my mom ran to Walmart to get some stuff for me. I was waiting to meet my roommate. Nyya was funny. I felt at ease with her. And we both had no idea how to pronounce Amparo. So, once she came in we did introductions and we still hadn't caught how to pronounce her name! So, we're like we'll wait for her to meet Amy and then we'll catch it then. So, once they met..well, let's just say Amparo likes to say her name super fast and nobody caught it. For like a week or two Nyya referred to her as A. For the first couple of days we didn't see a whole lot of Amparo. She thought we were insane. Nyya had never seen Twilight. So, on move in day Nyya said, 'Ok let's watch Twilight and get it over with.' So, I put it in. Not even half way through the movie Amparo and her friend came in. I about died of embarrassment. Great first impressions huh? I mean I had asked her if she liked Twilight just because I didn't want to freak her out with my posters. So, she was going into our living arrangements thinking I'm an insane Twilight freak and I was thinking she was a wild party girl.
Later that night Amy told us about a Frat party that she had been invited to so, I was like sure, why not? This is what college is all about anyways? I don't drink so, that won't be a problem. I'll just meet people and make some friends. Thomas and Sturdi, who I went to High School with, came too. They somehow got lost and made it there after we had. I was wearing heels. And let me tell you. That was the worst idea I have ever had in my entire life. Well...technically it was Amparo's idea. But, seriously. Ridiculous. As a piece of advice to anyone going to a Frat party for the first time. DO NOT WEAR HEELS!!! Just wear jeans, t-shirt, and regular shoes or flip flops. Easy, comfortable, perfect. The night progressed from there. And long story short I left with Thomas and Sturdi because I wasn't sure how comfortable I'd be going home with Amy. And I was ready to leave.
So, I went back to my room after saying goodnight to Thomas and Sturdi and watched the Disney channel alone. Wondering what the rest of the year would bring. If me and Amparo would be good friends or hate each other? Everyone came back from the party, except Amparo...we didn't know where she had gone. And I was asleep before she got back.
The rest of the year turned out to be something I'd never expect it to be. Amparo, Nyya, Amy, and later Maggie made my Freshmen year experience amazing. I had some of the best times with these girls. I'm glad to not only call them my friends but my family as well. this is to them. And I promise more stories to come. We have a lot. :)
Until next time.
XO.
Kymber.
It was move in day. I was nervous. I was about to move in with three strangers. The most contact I had with any of them was a message on Facebook. Or, well, Nyya had pop chatted me once. I wasn't sure what to expect. Amparo had said she wasn't a party girl but her Facebook and other comments had made me feel as if she would be. She was the one I was supposed to be sharing a room with and I was scared. I was the quiet, shy, I'd rather be at home then at a frat party, type person. And I just knew she was gonna be out partying all the time and I'd never get sleep. But, I got there and had my boxes outside the door and the first person I met was Amy. And of course Amy's army of people to help her set up all of her stuff. How she had so much stuff in her room I'll never understand. But anyways, my family helped me get everything set up. For some reason Morgan decided she wanted to make my bed....I didn't complain. I had my desk set up and my Twilight posters on the wall before Amparo even step foot in our room. Nyya came in and talked to me and Nick, who had stayed behind since my mom ran to Walmart to get some stuff for me. I was waiting to meet my roommate. Nyya was funny. I felt at ease with her. And we both had no idea how to pronounce Amparo. So, once she came in we did introductions and we still hadn't caught how to pronounce her name! So, we're like we'll wait for her to meet Amy and then we'll catch it then. So, once they met..well, let's just say Amparo likes to say her name super fast and nobody caught it. For like a week or two Nyya referred to her as A. For the first couple of days we didn't see a whole lot of Amparo. She thought we were insane. Nyya had never seen Twilight. So, on move in day Nyya said, 'Ok let's watch Twilight and get it over with.' So, I put it in. Not even half way through the movie Amparo and her friend came in. I about died of embarrassment. Great first impressions huh? I mean I had asked her if she liked Twilight just because I didn't want to freak her out with my posters. So, she was going into our living arrangements thinking I'm an insane Twilight freak and I was thinking she was a wild party girl.
Later that night Amy told us about a Frat party that she had been invited to so, I was like sure, why not? This is what college is all about anyways? I don't drink so, that won't be a problem. I'll just meet people and make some friends. Thomas and Sturdi, who I went to High School with, came too. They somehow got lost and made it there after we had. I was wearing heels. And let me tell you. That was the worst idea I have ever had in my entire life. Well...technically it was Amparo's idea. But, seriously. Ridiculous. As a piece of advice to anyone going to a Frat party for the first time. DO NOT WEAR HEELS!!! Just wear jeans, t-shirt, and regular shoes or flip flops. Easy, comfortable, perfect. The night progressed from there. And long story short I left with Thomas and Sturdi because I wasn't sure how comfortable I'd be going home with Amy. And I was ready to leave.
So, I went back to my room after saying goodnight to Thomas and Sturdi and watched the Disney channel alone. Wondering what the rest of the year would bring. If me and Amparo would be good friends or hate each other? Everyone came back from the party, except Amparo...we didn't know where she had gone. And I was asleep before she got back.
The rest of the year turned out to be something I'd never expect it to be. Amparo, Nyya, Amy, and later Maggie made my Freshmen year experience amazing. I had some of the best times with these girls. I'm glad to not only call them my friends but my family as well. this is to them. And I promise more stories to come. We have a lot. :)
Until next time.
XO.
Kymber.
Sunday, April 3, 2011
P90X
Sooo....I've started P90X...or P90 death as I am now calling it. The workout is KILLER. But, so worth it. I hope at least. ;)
I can't afford to do the meal plan so I'm just cutting back on what I eat and not eating junk...or well..not eating a whole bunch of junk. Gum has become my new best friend. I'm less hungry when chewing gum. And lots and lots and lots of water. I'm hoping this will lead to the results I want. Anything can be better then what I've been doing.
Sometimes I get frustrated with myself. Why did I let myself get to this point? Why didn't I stop myself from eating so much in the past 19 years? But, I'm changing. So, that's a good thing. I'm realizing what I've been doing isn't right. I may have to work my butt off to get to where I want to be, but I'm going to do it. Even if it kills me. Some days it feels like it just might do that.
I've decided to really crack down on this because for the first time since middle school I'm buying a swim suit....and I hate the way I look in those. I feel so fat and ugly..and just all around gross. But, I'm determined to not feel like that anymore. I found the PERFECT swim suit from Target. I love it. It's black and the front has neon polka spots!! :O It's totally me. It's a tankini so I'm gonna have to get the short bottoms because the other ones make me uncomfortable....and I hate my legs.
But, I'm seriously tired of being fat. I want to be able to go to the mall and spend $50 on more then just one shirt. I want to be able to go buy clothes from places like Forever21. I want to feel beautiful. I know a lot of my posts have been depressing and I promise I'll have some funny ones coming soon. This is just heavy on my mind right now.
I'll be sure to keep y'all posted. And as long as I reach my goal I'll post a picture of me in my swim suit at the end of May. :) I love you all. Thanks for reading!
Muah!!
XO.
Kymber.
I can't afford to do the meal plan so I'm just cutting back on what I eat and not eating junk...or well..not eating a whole bunch of junk. Gum has become my new best friend. I'm less hungry when chewing gum. And lots and lots and lots of water. I'm hoping this will lead to the results I want. Anything can be better then what I've been doing.
Sometimes I get frustrated with myself. Why did I let myself get to this point? Why didn't I stop myself from eating so much in the past 19 years? But, I'm changing. So, that's a good thing. I'm realizing what I've been doing isn't right. I may have to work my butt off to get to where I want to be, but I'm going to do it. Even if it kills me. Some days it feels like it just might do that.
I've decided to really crack down on this because for the first time since middle school I'm buying a swim suit....and I hate the way I look in those. I feel so fat and ugly..and just all around gross. But, I'm determined to not feel like that anymore. I found the PERFECT swim suit from Target. I love it. It's black and the front has neon polka spots!! :O It's totally me. It's a tankini so I'm gonna have to get the short bottoms because the other ones make me uncomfortable....and I hate my legs.
But, I'm seriously tired of being fat. I want to be able to go to the mall and spend $50 on more then just one shirt. I want to be able to go buy clothes from places like Forever21. I want to feel beautiful. I know a lot of my posts have been depressing and I promise I'll have some funny ones coming soon. This is just heavy on my mind right now.
I'll be sure to keep y'all posted. And as long as I reach my goal I'll post a picture of me in my swim suit at the end of May. :) I love you all. Thanks for reading!
Muah!!
XO.
Kymber.
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
Welcome To My Silly Life.
So, I've decided that this post will be amusing. Or I hope it will be amusing. I told Cari Dean about some of the....clumsy mishaps of my life..thus far. She found them rather amusing and well, here we are. I have broken my right pinky, my right arm...three different times..., I have a few scars on my left leg, and here are the stories behind each of these different....experiences.
First, I have a brother who is eight years older than me. So, when I was 2 he was 10. We were wrestling around on my parents bed for fun. You know how siblings can be and somehow my pinky finger broke. Nobody realized it until several days later and when my mom took me to the doctor they said they would have to rebreak it since it had already started to heal. My mom decided that was a no go and now I have a slightly bent pinky. You can't really tell, but it's there. It doesn't bother me. It's whatever.
Second, I have a scar on my knee that has been there since I can remember. I'm not sure on the whole story but what I do know sounds like me. Supposedly, my mom was cleaning the floor air vents and had them turned upside down some where on the floor. Well, little ole me decided I wanted to walk across them. Yep. Slipped and my leg went through the vent and BOOM insert scar on my knee.
Third, the first time I broke my arm. Yep. The first time. We lived in Michigan and I wanted to be able to ride my bike without training wheels. I mean come on I was like 5 or something and my 11 year old sister got to go everywhere with her friends on their bikes and I wanted to go too! So...I was practicing in our driveway. Every time I would turn a certain way my bike would go the other way and I would run into a tree...the same tree every time. Yeah....did I mention it was a gravel driveway? I wasn't the smartest kid that's for sure. But, after the millionth time of running into said tree I fell off and broke my arm. I had to wear one of those arm slings for a while. Sigh.
Fourth, when I broke my arm...again. I was learning to roller blade. I was pretty pumped because everyone I knew had some and even though I got the hand me downs from my older sister but who the heck cares?! It was going pretty well and it was a ton of fun! We just went around the block and were almost home. I was feeling pretty awesome and then I lost my balance. I fell backwards and broke my right arm...again. My dad had to come get me and carry me back to the house I cried...a lot. Then I spent HOURS in the ER waiting for someone to come see me. But, my cast was pretty cool. Even if it itched a lot. This happened when I was in 4th grade and right before Spring Break. The kids thought they were clever saying 'Kymber's already had her spring break.' Yeah...not so funny.
Fifth, I was riding my bike home from school one day. It was a pretty day..until I did something, lost my balance, and then fell off. I scraped up my leg pretty bad. It was a gross bloody mess and just...gross. I cried. Thankfully my older brother and his friends were driving by and picked me up and drove me the rest of the way home. I don't think I was ever that excited to see him in my entire life. But,I have a little bit of a scar on my leg thanks to that one.
Sixth, a broken arm again. My friends were having a birthday party at the skating rink and I was super excited about it. It had been a year since I had broken my arm and had been practicing my skills on my back porch. I'd fallen but not to the point of breaking my arm. I was feeling confident that I'd be ok. So, I went being optimistic and they had roller skates and not blades....I'd never been on those before. But, I was gonna try it. I got out on the floor and some loser teenager pushed me over. I fell and that is how I fractured my growth plate in my right arm. I had to go to the doctor and they gave said they were going to treat it like a broken arm and cast me. I didn't cry that time...but dang it hurt. Thankfully, that was the last time I broke my arm. Knock on wood.
Finally, I have a nice scar on my left leg from doing boxes with the girl's basketball team my Freshman year of high school. My footing slipped and then boom scratched my leg and blood was there. Blood freaks me out and makes me a little dizzy. It was awful. I cried. But, now I have a nice scar and a not so funny story of that one.
Every day is a new adventure. I get beat up by doors all the time. They always seem to want to close on me before I'm out or in. I trip over my own feet and fall almost every day. It's ridiculous. But it's me. And I have some pretty awesome stories. :D
Until next time. I hope this amused you all.
XO
Kymber.
First, I have a brother who is eight years older than me. So, when I was 2 he was 10. We were wrestling around on my parents bed for fun. You know how siblings can be and somehow my pinky finger broke. Nobody realized it until several days later and when my mom took me to the doctor they said they would have to rebreak it since it had already started to heal. My mom decided that was a no go and now I have a slightly bent pinky. You can't really tell, but it's there. It doesn't bother me. It's whatever.
Second, I have a scar on my knee that has been there since I can remember. I'm not sure on the whole story but what I do know sounds like me. Supposedly, my mom was cleaning the floor air vents and had them turned upside down some where on the floor. Well, little ole me decided I wanted to walk across them. Yep. Slipped and my leg went through the vent and BOOM insert scar on my knee.
Third, the first time I broke my arm. Yep. The first time. We lived in Michigan and I wanted to be able to ride my bike without training wheels. I mean come on I was like 5 or something and my 11 year old sister got to go everywhere with her friends on their bikes and I wanted to go too! So...I was practicing in our driveway. Every time I would turn a certain way my bike would go the other way and I would run into a tree...the same tree every time. Yeah....did I mention it was a gravel driveway? I wasn't the smartest kid that's for sure. But, after the millionth time of running into said tree I fell off and broke my arm. I had to wear one of those arm slings for a while. Sigh.
Fourth, when I broke my arm...again. I was learning to roller blade. I was pretty pumped because everyone I knew had some and even though I got the hand me downs from my older sister but who the heck cares?! It was going pretty well and it was a ton of fun! We just went around the block and were almost home. I was feeling pretty awesome and then I lost my balance. I fell backwards and broke my right arm...again. My dad had to come get me and carry me back to the house I cried...a lot. Then I spent HOURS in the ER waiting for someone to come see me. But, my cast was pretty cool. Even if it itched a lot. This happened when I was in 4th grade and right before Spring Break. The kids thought they were clever saying 'Kymber's already had her spring break.' Yeah...not so funny.
Fifth, I was riding my bike home from school one day. It was a pretty day..until I did something, lost my balance, and then fell off. I scraped up my leg pretty bad. It was a gross bloody mess and just...gross. I cried. Thankfully my older brother and his friends were driving by and picked me up and drove me the rest of the way home. I don't think I was ever that excited to see him in my entire life. But,I have a little bit of a scar on my leg thanks to that one.
Sixth, a broken arm again. My friends were having a birthday party at the skating rink and I was super excited about it. It had been a year since I had broken my arm and had been practicing my skills on my back porch. I'd fallen but not to the point of breaking my arm. I was feeling confident that I'd be ok. So, I went being optimistic and they had roller skates and not blades....I'd never been on those before. But, I was gonna try it. I got out on the floor and some loser teenager pushed me over. I fell and that is how I fractured my growth plate in my right arm. I had to go to the doctor and they gave said they were going to treat it like a broken arm and cast me. I didn't cry that time...but dang it hurt. Thankfully, that was the last time I broke my arm. Knock on wood.
Finally, I have a nice scar on my left leg from doing boxes with the girl's basketball team my Freshman year of high school. My footing slipped and then boom scratched my leg and blood was there. Blood freaks me out and makes me a little dizzy. It was awful. I cried. But, now I have a nice scar and a not so funny story of that one.
Every day is a new adventure. I get beat up by doors all the time. They always seem to want to close on me before I'm out or in. I trip over my own feet and fall almost every day. It's ridiculous. But it's me. And I have some pretty awesome stories. :D
Until next time. I hope this amused you all.
XO
Kymber.
Friday, March 18, 2011
All My Life I've Been Good...
Today has been one of those days. The kind of days when you wonder if what you've been doing is what is best. If maybe you are supposed to be someone else entirely. The you that you want to keep buried. What if that's the person you are meant to be? What if that's what you need to do...for you?
I try to be a good person. I try to be friendly with everyone I interact with..no matter what I think of them. I have a very caring and giving heart as my mother often tells me. But what has it gotten me? Some friends? Sure. But yet...there's something missing. Something I want.
I try not to dwell on being single. Honestly I don't have time for a boyfriend. But, dating someone I'm interested in...that would be nice. To have someone want to take me out to a movie or something super cute and fun...would be amazing. But, nobody wants to take me on a date that I'm interested in. I feel like there is something wrong with me. What am I doing wrong?
I don't think I'm asking for much. Just a date. One date would be nice. Being seen as something other than a sister or friend would be..nice. So nice. To feel cared about and important to someone other then my family would be amazing.
As long as I can remember I've never felt this way. I always feel like I'm the one that's making the effort to do anything. I'm the one that cares too much. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm tired of it. I want to go back to not caring so much. To the person that liked to keep a distance between her and others. Things didn't hurt as much. Where is that girl when I need her? Where is the person who is supposed to save me?
I'm tired of sitting at home on a Friday night wishing for someone to magically have feelings for me and ask me on one date. Just one date. I've never been on a date. The closest thing I've gotten was lunch with a couple different guy friends. Those don't count as dates.
Where's my chance at love? When will I stop being the little sister or best friend? I know I have a mind like a guy at times. And I'm much more interested in Football then shoes or getting my nails done. But...isn't that a good thing? What's so wrong with me? I wish I knew. I used to think I was a catch...not so much anymore. So what if I want to go to the Super Bowl for my honeymoon? Or that I refuse to ever celebrate Valentine's Day with a significant other. Or that I hate flowers and I'm not big on jewelry. Where has it gotten me? No where.
Today I threw the towel in on an unreachable dream. Good bye high hopes. Hello reality. This is what will eventually lead to my status as the crazy cat lady that talks to herself in 40 years. Gosh, I'm ready for this day to be over. Ready to not feel this pain. Ready to be different.....
XO
Kymber.
I try to be a good person. I try to be friendly with everyone I interact with..no matter what I think of them. I have a very caring and giving heart as my mother often tells me. But what has it gotten me? Some friends? Sure. But yet...there's something missing. Something I want.
I try not to dwell on being single. Honestly I don't have time for a boyfriend. But, dating someone I'm interested in...that would be nice. To have someone want to take me out to a movie or something super cute and fun...would be amazing. But, nobody wants to take me on a date that I'm interested in. I feel like there is something wrong with me. What am I doing wrong?
I don't think I'm asking for much. Just a date. One date would be nice. Being seen as something other than a sister or friend would be..nice. So nice. To feel cared about and important to someone other then my family would be amazing.
As long as I can remember I've never felt this way. I always feel like I'm the one that's making the effort to do anything. I'm the one that cares too much. I wear my heart on my sleeve and I'm tired of it. I want to go back to not caring so much. To the person that liked to keep a distance between her and others. Things didn't hurt as much. Where is that girl when I need her? Where is the person who is supposed to save me?
I'm tired of sitting at home on a Friday night wishing for someone to magically have feelings for me and ask me on one date. Just one date. I've never been on a date. The closest thing I've gotten was lunch with a couple different guy friends. Those don't count as dates.
Where's my chance at love? When will I stop being the little sister or best friend? I know I have a mind like a guy at times. And I'm much more interested in Football then shoes or getting my nails done. But...isn't that a good thing? What's so wrong with me? I wish I knew. I used to think I was a catch...not so much anymore. So what if I want to go to the Super Bowl for my honeymoon? Or that I refuse to ever celebrate Valentine's Day with a significant other. Or that I hate flowers and I'm not big on jewelry. Where has it gotten me? No where.
Today I threw the towel in on an unreachable dream. Good bye high hopes. Hello reality. This is what will eventually lead to my status as the crazy cat lady that talks to herself in 40 years. Gosh, I'm ready for this day to be over. Ready to not feel this pain. Ready to be different.....
XO
Kymber.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
And the Winner Is....
So, on my last blog you heard about the competition me and weird kid were having. Well, it's over. I won. Err...well, we agreed on a tie. Because his pick up lines were really awesome. And the poor guy never saw what I did coming. Here are his pick up lines: (I swear if someone said this to me I'd love them just for the effort.)
Day 1:
AHH. I win. I enjoyed this so much. It entertained me to no end. I love you both madly!! :D You two are a couple of the most entertaining people I know. I'm not sure what I'd do without either one of you.
Until next time.
XO
Kymber.
Day 1:
AHH. I win. I enjoyed this so much. It entertained me to no end. I love you both madly!! :D You two are a couple of the most entertaining people I know. I'm not sure what I'd do without either one of you.
Until next time.
XO
Kymber.
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