When I was 12 years old my life was ending as I knew it. I was moving to some hick town called Chelsea. I felt like my family was falling apart. My life was ending. I was leaving everything I loved and knew to move 700 something miles away. I was a horrible child. I told my parents every day that if she made me move to Alabama I would make her life miserable. I made sure they knew they were ruining my life. Funny thing is that they originally decided to stay in Oklahoma because of what an awful child I was. But, right after they made that choice they felt as if they had made the wrong choice and decided that my dad need to take the job offer. And enter the end of my life.
I hated everyone and everything. I never wanted to leave Oklahoma. I loved that state. My friends were there. The people who cared the most about me were there. Why was it that my parents wanted to take all of that away from me?? Why did we have to leave? I remember the day they told me. We had a family meeting and they announced that after Ashley graduated from high school we would be moving to Alabama. My dad would work in Alabama during the week and fly home to spend the weekends with us. I cried. I went to Rileigh's house..and when her mom opened the door she just knew what was wrong. Rileigh had gotten in trouble and her dad said no visitors but her mom told him to let me go. I went in her room and she was complaining about getting in trouble for whatever bratty thing she had done. I hadn't even gotten a word in when she looked at me. I was trying my hardest to keep in my emotions..but..once she looked at me all I could say was I'm moving to Alabama. We both cried. Our friendship looked as though it was coming to an end. I had watched friends of mine move away and promise to keep in touch....but nobody ever did. You see people leave with false promises and you only end up disappointed. I miss some of the friends that moved and never kept in touch. But, I guess you find out who your real friends are sooner or later right? But, we still had a full school year left to hang out.
But, little did I know another curve ball was going to be thrown my way. On January 26, 2004, Brain Trammell died in a car accident on his way home from Norman. Brian was 17 and a family friend. I was never really close to the guy. But he was always just so nice. Or, at least I don't remember him ever being mean to me. His mom was my dad's secretary and every year we would have a Christmas party in our home for everyone my dad worked with. It was always a family event. Seeing as how there was 5 kids in our home everyone brought their kids with them. Brain would come and hang out with my older sister. Say some nice things to us kids and that would be all the interaction we'd have with him. I always thought he was just soooooo cute. He played football at the high school him and my sister went to. I think he helped push my wanting to go to Moore War. In the town I'm from We only had one football field for the two high schools. It was located on the campus of Moore High School. Each year the opening game, Moore War, was between Moore High School and Westmoore High School. I would push to go but my parents would always say no. Something about there being too many fights or whatever. But, finally I was able to go! I was in 6th grade and my parents said I could go with my dad. It was my first ever football game. I was so amazed by the atmosphere of the game. All these people here for one thing. To cheer on these teenage boys in a game I had never paid too much attention to. I remember asking my dad what a kick through the post thingy was. He laughed and explained to me that it was a field goal. I'd ask questions about the different positions and try to figure out the idea of the game. I hadn't grown up around football. Just basketball. My older brother was a HUGE Michael Jordan fan. My brother also played basketball and was totally BA at it. So, our families focus was basketball. But, that's completely off of the point. I fell in love with football that day. And we had sat next to Brian's parents. That is the point. The day I found my favorite sport. The one I can watch for hours on end like a guy was influenced by not only my dad, but Brian's mom and step dad.
There's this back road you can take to go to or from Norman back into Moore. It seems to be faster then the Interstate sometimes. Plus you get to enjoy all the flat scenery. Maybe 5 minutes away from Wal-Mart in Moore there is a hill on this road. Supposedly if you take it fast enough it will make you feel like you are on a roller coaster. I guess Brian and his two friends wanted to try that out. On a rainy night. He lost control of the car and hit a tree. The car caught on fire and they were trapped. Brian and the front passenger died there at the scene. The guy in the back died on his way to the hospital in an ambulance. Brian's mom wouldn't find out about what happened until hours later. She had picked up his Senior pictures that day. He never got to see them. I keep one in my wallet to remind me life is so short. We must embrace life. We have to be careful with how we do things. We can't act like crazy people. We need to value our lives. We aren't invincible. Death can take us at any age. My mom told me the next day on the way to pick Rileigh up to take us to school. I couldn't stop crying. Crying for Brian's family and friends. Crying because I was scared. Crying because he was such a nice guy. Rileigh was upset that my mom had told me so casually on the way to school. I then had to go through the rest of the day hearing about how stupid those three boys were. How they never should have been so dumb. We would be lectured by anyone who had taught any of the boys. Some would be sad and not say much. But others, my last teacher of the day, went on and on about the dumbness of them. I hated her already but that gave me more of a reason to hate her.
I couldn't sleep for a long time without crying myself to sleep. My older brother would have to rub my back while I laid there crying until I went to sleep. My mom told me she didn't want me to go to Brian's funeral. I didn't want to be anywhere else. I couldn't do a whole lot. I kept wondering what was going to happen to me at 17. I remember writing a note to my friend Bryce, asking him if I was going to die by then. Telling him how I was feeling. Bryce may have been one of the biggest jerks in the world, but that day he gave me a hug and told me everything was going to be okay. You see this was back in the day when I trusted guys. I let them in and they were able to see my heart. I was a mess. I don't think I stopped being a complete mess until after my sister's graduation. There's more to my journey through this but, there's nothing more all of you need to know. I'm still not sure why Brian's death had so much impact on my life. But it did. It has influenced a lot of things in my life. I may not be the best driver..and I admit I like to go kinda fast. But when it's stormy or any kind of rain really, I drive cautiously. I've been thinking about Brian a lot lately. I'm not sure why. But, I have. I wish for his family that he was still here. That they were able to see him go off and play football for OU. That he would be able to fall in love and get married and have a family of his own. I would never wish something this awful on anyone. Losing someone so beloved to you is never good. It hurts. But, over time the hurting is less. You still miss them, but that will never go away.
Brian's Grave
Crash site.
Until next time.
XO
Kymber.
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