I Dreamed a Dream..

When you are a kid you have these great dreams...to become rich and famous. You'll be an A list celebrity and date the hottest person you can. When I was a kid it was Justin Timberlake, Daniel Radcliffe, and Aaron Carter. In High School it became Robert Pattinson (Pre Twilight...Harry Potter days yo.), Justin Timberlake (That's right.), and Ryan Gosling. So, you make these plans and dream these impossible dreams of the perfect life.

Then, you do some growing up and decide you don't want that life..the one where you are an A list celebrity on the arm of Ryan Gosling. You want the life you know you can have. You still have dreams and plans..but these plans and dreams are much more realistic than ever before. You have had to go through some difficult trials but, you have come out stronger and wiser. You have lost loved ones along the way...and have mourned for the loss of them. But, life must go on..no matter what you may want. But, you move on. You continue to have the dreams of a better life.

Until one day...a day you've been looking forward to for a month. You and some of your best friends are going to Nashville to see one of your favorite musicians and it's such an exciting day for you. And in the blink of an eye all your hopes and dreams of finding happiness..true happiness. They just disappear. You receive the worst news you could have ever imagined. So horrible you've never thought them. You're little brother has died in a car accident and you're life is forever changed.

I have been through a lot in my life. things I don't think of often..things I've only told one other person. But..this pain...this nightmare I will never be able to wake up from is something I don't know how to deal with. Nobody knows how to deal with this. Everyone tries to be helpful and whatever...but I don't know what to say to them anymore than they know what to say to me.

My perspective on life has changed. I have weeded out a lot of people from my life. I'm leaving behind the relationships that were painful. Life is too short to dwell on the things I have been.

I miss my little brother every day. My heart hurts every time I pass something of his or think of how he would like this or that. Sometimes I think 'I need to text Nick about this' and I can't.

I hope you all are still dreaming the dream for a great life. The life of a celebrity and dating a super hot actor. I hope you have the dreams and a life that is never as hard as mine has been and continues to be.

Thank you for all the love and support and prayers that you have been sending. It makes this a little easier to deal with.

I love you all like mad.

XO
Kymber.