But That Was a Million Years Ago

Adele's new album basically has a song for everything in my life. It's pretty crazy how I've listened to that CD on countless occasions and then one song finally hits a nerve you need it to. But, I guess that's how it usually works with songs. I've seen a quote on Facebook that says something like "When you're happy you enjoy the song. When you're sad you understand the lyrics." The song, Million Years Ago, was just everything tonight.

The line I love the most is " Sometimes I just feel it's only me Who never became who they thought they'd be."  

My life isn't anywhere close to what I thought it would be. I'm still searching for a grown up job around Birmingham. I wanted to already have my professional career underway, and I'm still working part time at a grocery store. Honestly, it's not the worst situation I could be in. I love most of my coworkers. They are some of the greatest people I've ever met. Often times they make my day better. But, in a perfect world I would have already gotten a job and be living in a great apartment. If it were easy it wouldn't be rewarding. Whether I have to move to Oklahoma in May or not...I'll learn from this experience and apply that knowledge to the rest of my life. 

When I look back at the last few years...who I was 5 years ago is a completely different person than I am today. I'm so glad I'm not that person anymore. She was annoying. Some say I'm still annoying...but I'd like to think that if you know me, the real me, you know that my peppy (or mildly annoying self) isn't the real me. It's just the part of me I let most see...to keep people at a safe distance. One of the people at work asked me if I was ever serious...obviously he doesn't know the real me. I feel like most of the time I'm too serious. So, I act goofy and silly and try to keep a smile on my face at work. You have to mix it up, right? 

I have to take one day at a time...and hope and pray that I'm able to move forward with my life without too much damage. 

I love you all like mad. I'll talk to you soon! 

XO

Kymber. 

I'm Giving You Up. I've Forgiven It All. You Set Me Free.

Well....it's been a LONG time Blogger world. Life's caught up with me in a crazy way. But, I'm baaaaaaack! This has been on my mind for a couple of days...so, enjoy. 

Sticks and stones may break my bones..but words will never hurt me. 

What a load of lies that is. Words are one of the most painful weapons we possess. Whether it be on purpose or not, our words have the power to completely destroy a person. Crazy, huh? 

The craziest part is that those words will stay with people for years to come. But, when do those words, and the pain they caused finally leave us? 

That's the million dollar question right there. I don't have the answer for that. I'm not sure the painful things that have been said to us in the past ever really leave us. We might forgive and move on...while temporarily forgetting what has been said to you, but in an instant you can be reminded of the pain you felt and have those words be at the front of your mind. This week I was reminded of hurtful things said to me 5 or so years ago. Things I thought I had moved on from. Apparently I hadn't though. 

And I hate that. I hate that with a few joking comments I feel like I'm 19 again. Which, is totally unfair to the person that was honestly just joking. However, you can't help that. It all comes rushing back to you and then BOOM. You're sitting in your car crying over it. 

So, how do you get over those feelings of doubt? First you are a huge jerk to the innocent man...because had it not been for his comments you wouldn't have cried in the first place. And then you apologize to the innocent man. Lastly, you put on your big girl pants and let it go. You can't change what was said to you in the past. You can't let those hurtful words control your life. Not everyone is out to hurt you like the person from the past (Jerk #1). You are an amazing person. Jerk #1 isn't worth your time anymore. Allowing them to have such a hold over you for 5 years is a mistake. Remind yourself of how amazing you are. There's a reason Jerk #1 didn't last long in your story. 

It's time to forgive and actually forget. Don't waste another minute on someone that purposefully hurts you. You'll find someone that is worth your time and energy...and your love. 


Until next time beautiful people. Stay awesome. 

XO
Kymber.