You're Gonna Bring Yourself Down

I'm trying to move forward. Leave somethings from the past in the past. Leave the old me back where she belongs. Sometimes I like the new me. I feel more confident with myself. I feel less iffy about different things. I still over think ever thing. Read into things too much. But, I believe in myself more then I used to. Sometimes though the old me comes out. Certain things happen and there she is. Shy, quiet, looking for people's approval of me. Now, I'm just trying to find a balance. Combine the good things from the old Kymber with the good things of the new Kymber.
I like that I can say what I want when I want and not be afraid to do it. I like that I can wear skirts to school and not be completely embarrassed. I don't like some of the things I've done. I'm not perfect and I have regrets. Thus, bringing me to where I am now. Looking for this balance.
There are things I've done that may shock people. Might make you think less of me. There are some super dark things hidden in my closet. Things nobody knows the full story of. But, I'm trying to let those memories not get the best of me. Sometimes they come back full force. Seeing a bad car accident on a rainy day crushes me. I feel like I'm 12 again and just barely keeping my head above the darkness.
If we let it the darkness will consume us. We can't let it or else we lose ourselves completely. If it does get the best of us we can always come back. We can fight off the darkness. We have the power to change our lives around if we want to.
There might be somethings that you have done that you regret. Make you think you're a bad person. Truth is we are only human. We are going to make mistakes. Some bigger then others. But, we can't let those mistakes define us. We can't let them take over our identity. We'll only lose our way completely if we let this rule our lives. Close your eyes. Relax. Become the person you like again. You can do it. I'm doing it, I've done it. You can too. I have faith in you.

"Does this darkness have a name? This cruelty, this hatred, how did it find us? Did it steal into our lives or did we seek it out and embrace it? What happened to us that we now send our children into the world like we send young men to war, hoping for their safe return, but knowing that some would be lost along the way. When did we lose our way? Consumed by the shadows. Swallowed whole by the darkness. Does this darkness have a name? Is it your name?"- One Tree Hill


XO
Kymber.