This Is My Life Now..

Bobby Long announced yesterday that next week he will be releasing new tour dates! After a split second of extreme happiness at the thought of my favorite artist coming into town again...I felt sick. This has nothing to do with Bobby Long, obviously. He's an incredible person and musician. But, my fear is all about the last time I was at his show..and finding out about my little brother's death.

After that announcement on Twitter...I started thinking about whether or not I'd go if he does come through town. I know I should go to replace the memory I have of the last show I went to. But, how am I going to be able to emotionally prepare for that? I don't really think there is anything I can do. It's just going to be hard. So hard...but, I'm going to go if he stops in town.

I was talking with my friend that went with me to see Bobby, Marcus, Sam, and Edward last year in September..and I was explaining to her why, at that point, I was thinking I couldn't go to see Bobby. She told me that my brother wouldn't have wanted me to stop going to his shows because of that. I need to find some kind of happiness in my darkest hours. Which, is hard. I would much rather lay in bed and be miserable. But, life goes on. It's not something I approve of. I'd like to just be able to pause time and mourn for however long I felt I needed and then press play to continue on with life. But, that's not how it works. Sometimes I feel like I can't get out of bed in the mornings...that there is no point to be out in the world that day. But, I have to keep moving. Nick wouldn't want me to just stop everything. Although, that seems like the better option.


I don't know when this extreme pain will just become a small pain....But, until then I guess I need to start looking for good things in life.

So, if Bobby Long comes to town...I guess I need to go..and try to not have a panic attack outside of the venue. Tonight I am taking a step and seeing Edward Hartline play at a coffee shop..I know that the people there care about me...and they have been so sweet over this whole situation. I absolutely love the people who have come in my life from all my musical adventures. Thank you guys for being so amazing and listening to my crazy ramblings at times. I appreciate it so much.

Love y'all like mad!

XO
Kymber Hill



"The rich stay rich...but the dark won't get darker." -The Dark Won't Get Darker by Bobby Long